Ants vs Humans

Who wins in a battle to the end?

The Numbers

Number of Ants: 10,000,000,000,000,000

Number of Humans: 7,200,000,000

Ratio: 1 Human vs 1,448,570 Ants

Weight

Ants: 4mg

Humans: 63kg

Humans Total: 432bn kg

Ants Total: 40bn kg

Ratio: 1 Ant kg vs 132 Human kg

Strength

Ants: 10–100 times body weight

Humans: 0.5–1.5 times body weight

Speed

Ants: Slow AF

Humans: 5mph-100mph (cars)

Strategies

Humans to Kill Ants:

Bulldozers

Stepping?

Ants To Kill Humans:

Small Bites Everywhere

Picking Up & Throwing Off Cliffs

Sprinting Down Orifices

Deep Dives

Bulldozers:

All humans rush to their nearest city’s downtown where pavement is rampant. Humans stand in the middle of every road, standing back to back. Bulldozers (and dudes with large trucks) drive up and down the roads flattening ants ferociously crawling to the middle of the streets. Humans win.

Stepping:

Humans congregate into large fields. The government instructs us, by way of YouTube, to conduct a synchronized step dance (similar to The Cotton Eyed Joe) which involves stomping and sweeping of ant holes. Humans win.

Small Bites:

Ants quietly gather outside every household or work place. After dismantling the human internet the ants attack at night, in Europe, and work backwards around the world. They start with the eyes. It’s gruesome. Ants win.

Throwing Off Cliffs:

Ants sweep humans off their feet and create a bucket brigade, carrying humans to the next cliff. This technique takes too long and the eight to strength ratio of humans to ants seams this technique a bad idea. Humans win.

Sprinting Orifices:

Ants quietly gather around each individual human at 11:45 AM Easter Standard Time around the world. When the clock strikes 12 PM the ants attack. Running up each shoe and straight into to closest earlobe, nostril or mouth. It’s a scuicide mission though. Both species become extinct. No one wins.

Conclusion

Since the total weight of humans outweighs the total strength of ants, the key to victory goes to the species who attacks first. If ants develop the word wide ant web and learn mass communication then a planned stealth attack can lead to victory. If ants attack in one part of the world and the other parts protect against it then humans win by developing an anti-ant spray that eradicates the species. In conclusion, if ants are smart about it then they can become the dominant species on earth. Human survival rests on the threat of ant mass communication. Ant counter intelligence should become a high priority.

Sources:

Ants.com

https://ants.com/how-many-ants-live-on-earth-and-more-interesting-ant-facts/

BBC.com

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29281253

What is a Bucket Brigade?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucket_brigade