The end of the Long War
TLDR: I will not play XCOM:Longwar anymore (at least for quite a while) and I explain why.
Short version: I am getting frustrated, I lost the impression I am still improving and at the same time feel no desire to lower the difficulty.
The Longwar-mod for XCOM: Enemy Within is probably the best strategy game I’ve ever played. It has aged very well and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t tried it yet. After 1600 hours of playtime, 1300 on stream, I haven’t gotten close to beating it even once and yes, I am fully aware of the option to NOT play on the highest difficulty in Ironman mode, but to be quite frank — it’s not an option for me. Not anymore, after all this time. It would feel like getting back together with your ex simply because your true love doesn’t want you anymore. Killing sectoids with 3 HP just wouldn’t feel right and at this point would taste stale and tasteless at best.
Now I could criticize the game as I have done in the past (and I still stand by those statements), but this is not what this is about. The game is a beauty that yet has to meet it’s equal and I enjoyed my time as the Commander of the XCOM forces immensely. But over the course of hundreds of hours I lost one very simple thing: the faith that I was still improving, that there were still things that I could try, that I could work on. I might just lack the strategical prowess, or foresight, or skill or whatever. Stamina maybe as well. I took two breaks before this last and potentially final one, stopped playing for several months both times before coming back to it, always feeling the itch again to send my squad into the onslaught of the alien forces one more time. This time I would be more careful when activating. Focus more on MELD. Take less risks, whatever. In the end, the marchpolice caught me every time. And while XCOM2 sends you through 4 tough missions before the game stabilizes, it took me an entire day worth of missions to make it through march each time. And then *something* would happen.
I’ve been hit by 0% shots in this game. I’ve doubleactivated by stepping out of cover to take the final shot. I’ve had my tankiest soldier be oneshot by a supressed EXALT-Sniper with a 1% shot. All of these things happen very rarely and there are people that have beaten the game, more than once even.
I, however, have grown entirely tired of what, without a doubt, is XCOM, baby. And I have never even seen a sectopod or ethereal after beating the game once in Vanilla. Even more importantly, I cant stand the feeling of seeing people come into my chat to ask how the war is going and all I can tell them is that we restarted *again* and that the first 4 missions so far went flawlessly. Longwar isnt 4 missions. Longwar is around 6–9? missions every month for two years. Sure, I do well enough to make it through a couple of missions without messing up and yes, I’d probably be able to beat it in bronzeman if I try long enough. But monkeys write shakespear if they try long enough. In the end, it’s just slower savescumming - which is fine, don’t get me wrong - but it’s nothing I want to do personally.
At the end of the day, it is that spark of hope that always kept me going, because I thought I’d beat it at some point. Hope made it fun, discussing strategy, comparing starting positions, research paths, it felt like something I could figure out. At this point I feel like if I’d beat it, it wouldn’t be my skill but rather the rng not being an asshole for an extended period of time. Because when Longwar wants to screw you, it will screw you no matter what you do. The same goes both ways of course. Yesterday I killed an Outsider by hitting 3 shots, none of them had a higher chance than 31% to hit. The Commander takes those, desperately, greedy, oblivious, and when it works he laughs because he knows he didn’t deserve them. But it’s the buttclenching, teethbiting frustration that sets in when the game does the same to you, that you remember when you go back to March. Again. And again. And again.
I don’t feel like going back anymore for now. I will most definitely check out Terra Invicta when the time comes, as well as XCOM 3 and any other noteworthy title of the genre, I might even be strong enough to tackle the Long War again at some point in the future, but I wouldn’t bet on it. This Commander is incredibly tired of throwing the dice. Let someone send those men to their deaths.
Commander Matt Gambler, over and out.
