Do you love yourself?
Love is an inside job, not an ouside job
We can never receive love if we think we’re not lovable. We will always chase after the wind of approval and love — But it never satisfies your thirst. If you don’t think you’re lovable you could have the whole world bow down to you and praise you for 10 minutes and you would feel a high for those 10 minutes — but right after those 10 minutes you would ask yourself: What now? Do they still love me? Am I worthy of Love?
I will give you 7 things you’re probably doing to yourself if you don’t think your lovable or worthy of love.
1. You are Constantly compensating for who you are with apologies, or clarifications for your actions, like you always owe other people explanations.
This one has been a struggle for me a lot. I’ve always felt a need to explain to people why I am doing things. If someone saw a work I’ve done I would instantly say; “Well I just did it in 5 minutes — it was nothing serious” to brush off the fear that they may or may not approve it. Or when people asks me what I am doing I would always answer something like this; “Well right now I am doing this and that — BUT IN 5 YEARS I WILL BE DOING THIS!” Always trying to prove myself to people that I am somebody, somebody worthy of respect and love until I realized that the only one that matters when it comes to approving myself is — myself. I AM THE ONE. No one else can decide if it’s bad or good. I decide that. Am I proud over my content? Am I proud over my body? Am I proud over my work? That’s the only opinion that matters. When you can shift from seeking the love and approval from other people and find it in you — everything changes. Period.
2. You Beat yourself up when you make even the slightest mistake.
I am guilty of this one as well. I can beat myself up for oversleeping so much that I ruin the whole day. And This behaviour of beating yourself up from the slightest mistakes comes from a very bad view of yourself. Like that you’re just waiting for yourself to slip up so you can Prove to yourself how bad you are. “See, didn’t I know I couldn’t do this? Didn’t I? I better quit, before I embarrass myself even more”
You can either let your lowest moments define you, or your greatest moments. It’s up to you. – Matteus Eurell
3. You Think about your flaws and feel overwhelming disgust or anger.
Here we’re talking about maybe you feel an overwhelming disgust towards your body, or for a handicap you have or a struggle you’re going through. The one thing that can help is to realize and know that all of us have flaws and battles we’re going through. And Either we can see our flaws and struggles as liabilities or we can see them as an asset — To help other people with the same flaws and struggles.
4. You Cling to people who see the best in you and find it hard to maintain those positive feelings when they walk away.
It doesn’t matter how much people tell you how good you are, or how beautiful you are or how lovable you are if yourself don’t believe it.
You can’t just confess with your mouth — you also have to believe in your heart that it’s true what you confess. Do you really believe it?
You have to confess with your mouth And Believe in your heart that it’s true.
As long as you treat an internal job as an external job, you will never be satisfied. You see loving yourself — is not an outside job, but an inside job.
5. You tell yourself that you’re being selfish whenever you consider meeting your own needs.
It’s hard to meet other people’s needs if you can’t meet your own needs. How can you love a person and give all your heart to the people, to God, to your community, to humanity, if your heart is empty? Tell me if you know, because I haven’t figured out a way.
Here comes my belief that the only one that can fill that empty heart of yours is God’s love. The love of God — Agape (The love of God for man and man for God and all people — agape embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends, that serves regardless of circumstances. The highest form of love)
You have to spend quality time with yourself — so you are refreshed and ready to give to other people. If you don’t invest time in yourself — you won’t have anything to give back to people.
6. You Repeatedly do self-destructive things, or make choices that show you don’t respect or value yourself.
This one has been a habit of mine. From the feeling of needing to punish myself with lack of sleep to doing actions that are in contrary to my dreams and goals — and it all boils down to a lack of respect of yourself and the knowledge and belief that you’re not worthy of love, worthy to succeed, worthy to be happy, etc.
7. Always find a reason to talk yourself out of your dreams as if you don’t deserve to have them.
This may take the form of you feeling that you have to please your parents or your peers or the society of becoming something you’re supposed to be. When you know deep down inside of you that your heart is calling you to be something else, but because of the lack of worth for yourself — you’re trying to find that worth from other people, which means you will take the path you’re “Supposed” to do instead of what you’re actually want — because of fear of not being approved or loved.
So What’s The Solution?
I think we all have fallen victim to one of these sometimes, maybe you’re struggling with them right now, and the first thing to solve anything is to recognize what the problem is in the first place then you can solve it.
And the solution lays in that you have to know that the only valid opinion about you and what you do is what You and God thinks about you. And I know he loves us — so we can love ourselves — and then love other people. So you have to start respecting yourself — so instead of seeking the love, the attention and the approval from other people ask yourself these questions instead:
1. Am I proud over my body?
2. Do I think my outfit looks good?
3. Am I proud over my work?
4. Am I satisfied with this Instagram Post?
5. Am I proud over my behaviour? etc.
Don’t seek what other people think about you — start to ask yourself what you think and stick to it. Because truth be told — never will everyone accept you, and everyone love you. Don’t be afraid of criticism because you know now that your Worth and your Love is an Inside job, not an outside job.
Criticism is something you can easily avoid by doing nothing, saying nothing and being nothing.
– Aristotele
I hope this really spoke to your heart, and that you let this hit you, I recommend you to reread and reread it, because I know that if you don’t get this, you will always be chasing after the wind and never be satisfied… I believe in you. =)
One last thing…
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