“How can I let go?”

There was a girl.

Pretty, smart, funny.

Interesting.

Interested.

We went out on a date. It went well. We talked and laughed and she even rested her head on my shoulder in a shop.

She said she wanted to see me again but then when we were texting over the next few days she seemed more distant.

Then she said “I don’t like making plans.”

I got pissed off. I thought “well how the fuck are we meant to see each other then?”

I was annoyed at who she was being. How dare I?

But I kept going. Even though we clearly weren’t compatible. Even though she’d already shown me who she was.

My writing was going better than ever, I’d just self-published my first book, and I was miserable.

Because things weren’t going how I wanted them to with her.

And that’s when I realised I was stopping myself from being happy.

I wasn’t unhappy because of how she was treating me.

I was unhappy because of how I was treating myself.

Chasing, persisting, trying to convince a girl to be who she wasn’t.

When I realised that is when I realised I deserved better than that.

And that’s when I let her go.

And that’s when I was happy again.

*****

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