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Courtesy of Warner Bros.

See a celebrity trending? Are they dead? Alive? Incarcerated for cheating on college admissions?

Do they have coronavirus?

Perhaps there’s been a disaster of biblical proportions. The dead rising from their graves. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together — mass hysteria?

Maybe Dr. Fauci, Michael Myers, Batman, and the word “moist” did die and you want the world to know that you’re relieved they left their mortal coil.

You dick.

Btw, heroes never die.

Nor does Michael Myers.

And, moist? Unkillable.

You don’t even know what the story is but trends demand a tweet, a gif — a go to, tireless representative of relief. There’s only one gif that can express utter relief that the apocalypse isn’t nigh, or someone hasn’t died, lived, been convicted, infected — whatever. …


Matthew J. Koehler

Stories. Verse. Humor. Most of this is true. Bylines around the Web. Editor of a local newspaper in the District. For parenting woes:

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