See a celebrity trending? Are they dead? Alive? Incarcerated for cheating on college admissions?
Do they have coronavirus?
Perhaps there’s been a disaster of biblical proportions. The dead rising from their graves. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together — mass hysteria?
Btw, heroes never die.
Nor does Michael Myers.
And, moist? Unkillable.
You don’t even know what the story is but trends demand a tweet, a gif — a go to, tireless representative of relief. There’s only one gif that can express utter relief that the apocalypse isn’t nigh, or someone hasn’t died, lived, been convicted, infected — whatever. …
Long have the people of D.C., American citizens, fought for equal representation in Congress, and now their fight picks up steam.
The House voted in favor of D.C. statehood on June 26, 2020. It was, and is, a historic vote. A historic vote that will ultimately die in the senate, but is part of a movement that is gaining momentum and is now a democratic plank.
Regardless of who you are and where you live, you can expect this fight to come up in the near future. Much louder in the near future.
Let me tell you why…
More than 700,000 American citizens, who live in the District of Columbia, are taxed without representation, despite paying some of the highest federal taxes in the nation. District residents have no vote in Congress, except when democrats grant the right to the figurehead representative of the District. Becoming a state, however, would further "grant voting representation to the residents of D.C., adding one member to the House and two Senators. The House would grow by one member to 436, then after the next census return to 435 apportioned among the now 51 states." …
“The surface of our sun is a wild, violent place and now we can see it in exquisite detail, thanks to the first images returned by the National Science Foundation’s Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope based in Hawaii.” -CNN
Hey humans! It’s “the” Sun, your nearest star. Apologize for the “air quotes” but that’s just me, and I’ve been me for more than 4.5 billion years.
It seems you’re finally getting back to me in all my glory with your newer, shinier instruments, huh? Cool, cool. I’m glad you hairless monkeys are coming “back around” to your backyard star. I mean, I get that all those other stars — “chips of diamonds in the sky,” the Jesus star, those assholes Venus and Jupiter always confusing people, and every one of those glib motherfuckers in the Big Dipper — “are” amazing. …
formless smoke drifts up. tendrils
wafting around my face. nostrils burn,
the cold concrete balcony leeches
remnant heat from already cold feet.
crisp air smells of winter,
instead of the sewage treatment plant
a few miles down the road.
the distant freeway
a constant subdued rush in the still night air –
my artificial waves upon the shore.
a shout from 3rd Street.
someone’s making love in the apartment next door,
I don’t even like cigarettes
but need the ritual.
Having kids means reexamining some of the ideological stances you took against cultural and family traditions as a single person. Walking the Earth as an unattached adult, religion, birthdays, Halloween, the winter holidays, *eye roll* Valentine's Day, and many more are subject to your personal philosophical whims. With little ones in toe, however, you may have to amend your practice, if not your thoughts, of traditions, especially those of the holiday variety.
"Who’s that man in the red suit, daddy?" Four year olds don’t care about a big person's moral objections to rampant consumerism. For them, it's pure magic. …
Death is never an easy subject to broach but when I was a kid there were protocols. Growing up Catholic, we had a narrative to fall back on, and I was into my middle school years before I attended a funeral for anyone I could remember — much older when someone really close to me died. By then, I had a firm grasp on the concept of death and what I believed happened afterwards.
Maybe explaining death is far more difficult and traumatic for parents to do, than it is for a 4 year old to understand.
For my nuclear family now, religion doesn’t play a role in our narrative on death (not an indictment against religious families, just a choice), so there’s little possibility of us venturing down that avenue of explanation. …
Corporal punishment is about satisfying your own anger and fear, not about teaching children.
She was standing there slapping her arm with a look that said, “I’m hitting myself but it doesn’t hurt. See? See? See?!?” I was not amused. Then, as if on cue, she laid on the ground, face down and cried, fakely.
Sympathy garnering at its finest.
You can’t beat understanding into a child like you can fear
Usually, I walk away. Unless she really gets angry and becomes a potential danger to herself. Often tripping over things or throwing herself at dangerous objects. The mini manipulator garners my sympathy. …
That instant, over the moon, head over heels in love thing people say they have for their newborn? Fatherhood doesn’t feel that way for everyone.
You have a child. You actually saw it happen. Well, some of it anyways.
Stepping into the nursery with the doctor, a still ambivalence hovers, I had a hard time deciding what was actually going on. Whatever I felt at this moment, it was primal yet mundane, maybe even profound, but…
A living thing was staring back up at me, and there was no one around to tell me what to do.
If the twilight zone existed, surely this was it. …
Marriage is both the short answer and the process by which I traveled to a more respectable place in the kitchen.
How did I get from there to here?
It’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot since traveling down the strange but trippy path of parenting and marriage, and it’s become a special point of irony when it often pops into my grey matter while working in the kitchen. It’s ironic because I hate cooking.
My pasta was mostly edible and would feed you, without pleasure, for days.
Once upon a time, my idea of a meal was what could easily be obtained from any fine eatery, like a supermarket or convenience store, but usually a restaurant. For me, spending time in the kitchen was, and arguably still is, frustrating, often frustrating, and usually a guaranteed disaster. …
As the first snowflakes fall, may we recall fondly the holiday that, like Thanksgiving, brings us into a warm house filled with animated family members and friends. Maybe there’s snow outside. If there isn’t, I feel sorry for you. Snow really makes the Holiday of holidays great.
Now in the warm glow of the Christmas season, its sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures involuntarily inundate our culturally tempered minds with endorphins galore. Whose joy wouldn’t threaten to blow through the top of their heads like a volcanic orgasm during this time of year?
The togetherness the season inspires seems to be part of some innate social programming. …