It is an ordinary life and I like it
I have to admit I am a bit nervous. I have always had a love-hate relationship with writing; love to write but hate the effort required. A while back, I realised the only writing I am doing is the infernal obligatory work emails and text messages. There were the occasional emails to friends but those have fallen to the wayside with the advent of social media and instant messaging. My ability to spell is deteriorating (yes, I had to use spell-check) and my grammer is also faltering. So this is my attempt to re-kindle my love affair with words.
I turned 47 this year. Like every year on my birthday, I do this thing where I wonder where it all went, should I be doing more and am I missing out by not living up to my full potential. Then I have a cup of tea with some birthday cake, settle down to watch something science fictiony or supernatural on Netflix and I am content. No lingering grand desires to change the world.
I live an ordinary life. My family is my husband, our two dogs and the cat. Work during the week with weekends off. I like my quiet neighbourhood. It has a diverse population, different languages, decent takeaway and many, many dogs (personal belief is dogs make everything better). I read quite a bit. Mainly biographies and some fiction; historical, paranormal, science and fantasy. I love football or soccer. I have been watching the English league as far as I can remember. Fascinated with serial killers; mainly what makes them tick.
We play this game at work: what would we do if we won the lottery. My answer is always the same; see the world, eat the food, come home to the small house near the beach or dessert where I can sit on my balcony and read or watch Netflix. Husband will be somewhere mountain-biking and hopefully not trying to maim himself. Of course, there will be dogs and cats lounging around. Perhaps I can teach one of the dogs to put the kettle on….
Now my life might sound like an idyllic situation and for most parts it is. I do have issues I wrestle with. Religion for one. I was raised Catholic. My family back home are devout Catholics, quite involved in church, that sort of thing. I used to be same but I have found my views have changed over the years. For instance, the Church’s treatment of women including the use of birth control, abortion and the roles accorded to us. Or the sex-abuse scandals. Or a God who gives us free will and teachings which contradicts free will.
I think the basic tenet of my faith is still there: the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I do think at this point in my life, I am more spiritual than religious. I do stop by church and say the rosary and yet balk when it comes to attending Mass (shh, do not tell my mother). However, does this mean I renoucing my faith and rejecting everything I was taught and practiced as a Catholic because I feel this way? I do not think so but it does weigh heavily on me. In the meantime, I carry on with my ordinary life, remembering to be humble and kind in spite of my resting bitch face which is my public persona (at home it is just resting face)
Other than Reddit, there are other issues which keep me up at night. For example, the overwhelming need to document our every moment on social media. New technology especially A.I. (I have seen Terminator and am ready to serve our overlords when they become sentient). Will scientists be able to one day clone a dinosaur and if yes, can I have one? People who confuse Star Wars with Star Trek. People treating each other badly because of race, gender, sexuality or beliefs. Can we have a live action She-Ra movie?
Now some say if I have all these issues bothering me, why don’t I do something about it? Good question and I wish I had an answer other than the sloth is my spiritual animal. We see inspirational quotes everywhere telling us to try harder, reach farther, don’t stop dreaming etc. The hard truth is most of us will have average, mediocre lives. We are generally happy with our lot and I like to believe it is a good thing.