The 4th of July, Prostitutes, and Koala Bears
This began as a response to another article, but I feel it can stand on its own merit…
A prostitute invites a Koala bear back to her place for sex.
After a vigorous hour of coital activities, the Koala bear gets up and starts to dress (Koala bears wear clothes in these parts).
The prostitute says, “That’ll be two-hundred dollars.”
The Koala bear looks at her, puzzled.
“Two-hundred dollars,” she repeats as she tosses the cuddly bear a dictionary. “I’m a ‘prostitute.’ Look it up.”
The Koala scans the dictionary: “Prostitute (n). Sex worker. Performs sex acts for money.”
“But I’m a Koala,” the bear replies, “Look it up.” He tosses the dictionary back to her.
The prostitute thumbs through the pages: “Koala (n). Marsupial native to Australia with large hairy ears and dense gray fur. Eats bush and leaves.”
— — — — — —
The joke is a long-winded way of me telling you that I’m a “libertarian.” Look it up.
I was originally responding to another author’s exploration of urban-vs-rural as a fault line of disagreement rather than the typical (and in my opinion lazy) segregation of ideas based on race or even socioeconomic class. I believe there’s validity there.
What I would argue, however, is that this push toward a “world government” or even a push (in the USA) toward federal government and away from state government is a false representation of realistic choices.
I might bore a few of the Euros here as I tailor my argument toward the USA, but I’m sure you’ll see some parallels in terms of your own proud, sovereign countries versus the European Union…
Back when US history books weren’t preoccupied with convincing high school students about our country’s empirical, genocidal nature, some paragraphs were reserved to describe how the The United States is a Federation of States. Pardon my French, but it was by a cunt hair that the federal government was even formed. (Check out the John Adams HBO miniseries — more fun than a book and more educational than Instagram.)
The “United States” were pretty fucking far from united. Ultimately, having the shit taxed out of them by a British government in which they had no official representation outweighed the inter-state fighting and voila! Los Estados Unidos!
Thus was formed a federation of states with a tendency to live and let live, but when feeling imposed upon by a “higher” authority a tendency to say FUCK YOU — and say it loudly. (Hmmmm….does that sound at all like those “unruly” Americans that still exist today?)
Here’s the take-away: The important part of the USA is not the “fuck you.” The important part is the “live and let live.” If you are not trampling another man’s (or woman’s) individual freedoms, you will get a wide berth.
The fifty states idea is genius — as originally implemented. Do we need certain common laws and beliefs to ties us together as a nation? Of course. The color of your skin should not dictate your rights — neither should your gender. But these inhumane episodes in American history were more accurately a lag in individual laws and worldwide norms of our deeply flawed human species to catch up with the Constitution of the United States of America.
The US Constitution was very progessive for its time. (That same four-page document that is shat-upon by the imbeciles that give you a non-functional twenty-two-thousand page health care bill and a Nancy Pelosi that insults your intelligence by telling you, “We have to pass the bill to know what’s in it.”)
Amazing. Bizarre. Insane.
The “empirical,” “racist,” and “paternalistic,” state of the world circa late 1700’s would take centuries to catch up with the founding principles of the US Constitution. But they would (and will) catch up!
The major problem now is the massive, bloated, good-old-boy federal government that is stealing taxpayer money, encouraging identity politics (American-vs-American), and recreating a “ruling class” that was abolished by the main tenets of our founding.
We need to move government as close to the people as possible. Period.
Within those parameters — and within the succinct dictums of our Constitution — how states (or cities or towns) govern themselves is entirely up to them. Ideas will be tried. Some ideas will fail. Some ideas will succeed. States are smart enough to adopt successful ideas (and discard those that are unsuccessful).
Self-governance is the basis of individual freedom, and it (along with capitalism) form the most profound progressive movement in the history of human civilization. If you want regressive ideas, cave to tyranny, oligarchy, royalty, socialism, communism — essentially every system of government and economics that has existed from the beginning of recorded history.
I love capitalism. I love the USA. They represent the worst of what humanity has to offer — except for all other systems of economics and government.