Heights, Hollows and Hearts

My first year as an entrepreneur

Heights

The sensation of freedom when I quit my job
A leap into daylight, leaving the mob
I had clients; I had money coming in — 
There was no way I could lose; I was smart and thin

Hollows

I spent all my savings; I spent every dime
When clients stopped calling at the most crucial time
With agony growing, I met my deepest fears
My fear of not succeeding, neglected for years

Hearts

A heart is always broken; all perfection has a scar
My daughter moved away from home, my cat crushed by a car
I buried the cat, I promised the girl
She would feel safe & loved in her bright new world

Heights

The feeling of mastery, the concept of thrill
When I got a new, big client and they paid their bill
I felt like a champion, I felt like a queen
I was developing into a money machine

Hollows

My flaws began appearing and they were real
Suddenly, I was no rock star; I could not close the deal
The world didn’t need me as much as I needed it
I was overwhelmed by doubt, I was ready to submit

Hearts

Apparently, I attracted scumbags and crooks
And this is a sad fact, but not as bad as it looks
Big-hearted people are not always those you suspected
But they are out there somewhere, and you need to collect them

Heights, hollows and hearts

I quit my job to face fear and challenge
I quit my job to give life a new balance 
No one will pay me just to show up
And no one, but me, will decide when to stop

****

This poem originally appeared on Kate Griffiths-Lambeth’s wonderful blog Leading Light and was part of Kate’s annual blog Advent series, where writers are invited to publish their thoughts on a theme, Kate decides. Last year’s theme was ‘Heights, Hollows and Hearts’.

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