My 30 lessons in 30 years
When I realized that the figure “30” is no longer a distant future, but something that has already appeared on the horizon, I thought: “What I have learned in this life, or rather, what life has taught me”? It’s not about the knowledge and skills, I am talking about some ideas, practical wisdom and universal things.
It was an interesting experience to think about it and to allocate exactly 30 points. It seemed to me that it will be hard to find so many things to write about, but … as a result it turned out that I could write even more, but let’s leave it for the next time :)
So my 30 lessons for 30 years.
1. Everything flows and everything changes
All, both good and bad. Therefore, we shouldn’t think that troubles are endless and happiness is forever. It is necessary, even essential, to appreciate all that is here and now, and understand that difficulties are inevitable.
2. We will always be dissatisfied with something
No matter how old we are, what we own and what we achieved. There will always be moments, situations, things, events, etc. that could be better. Bigger apartment, better phone, smaller ass, smarter children, funnier friends, whatever. Something will always be missing, we will be always wanting more. Keep this in mind as well as the thought — you can lose all that you already have. Read again point №1 and begin to appreciate right now.
3. Fear is an integral part of life
We will always be afraid of something: changes, death, getting old, disease, new beginnings, heights, spiders, darkness, separation, etc. Throughout life there are a million reasons to feel fear. He (fear) will always be somewhere nearby, but only we can decide what place he will take in our lives.
4. Brain is an organ which has to be pumped constantly
If you pump your biceps and do ABS workout, but don’t pump your brain, alas, it won’t bring you nothing good. Being old with trained muscles definitely not bad, but could be better. Learn languages, read books, find new hobbies, write poems, anything. Stimulate your brain permanently.
I might say as often as possible, but not all are travel gigs like me, that’s why I would just say — travel. Discover new places, cultures, traditions, languages and people.
6. Give yourself permission to be you and to other be different
All people are different, remember this. Do not assume that someone will behave as you do, or as you expect, or as you would behave in the same situation. Take it easier, try to understand.
7. Respect your parents and be tolerant to them
Yes, with parents it is not easy at all sometimes, but don’t forget — you are their child and you always will be. They taught you to walk and talk, satisfied your, as a minimum basic, and perhaps all other needs, and helped you to stand up in this life. At least be grateful for this.
8. Take care of your health.
The older you become, the more time should be given to this. Our body is a complex machine, and like any machine, it needs care and technical inspection. This is a guarantee of its subsequent productivity. Do not delay, do not close your eyes to the problems that bother you, do not be irresponsible to yourself.
9. Exercise regularly
I am not talking about going to a gym every day and do hard workouts. Just find a physical activity that you will like or at least which will be ok for you. Running, swimming, cycling, pilates, yoga, skis, skates, shaping, aerobics, whatever. On day your body will thank you, trust me.
10. Give people a «break» from yourself
Absolutely to everyone. And take a rest from others as well. No matter how wonderful your relationships with friends, boyfriend or family are, everyone needs a break from everyone.
11. Forgive people
Resentment always pulls us back. This is not a problem of a person who offended you, but yours. It doesn’t mean that we can never be insulted, frustrated etc, or that we must forgive “by force”, because it is necessary or it is right. Take your time, feel the pain, this is also sometimes necessary, but what is important after all — let it go. Offense won’t make you better and will not do worse to the abuser, so do you need this unnecessary luggage?! Make conclusions, learn your lessons, and move on.
12. Forgive yourself
Many of us save resentment for the incorrect decisions, undone deeds, mistakes, for not being perfect, for being weak sometimes, for given offense. I know for sure that forgive yourself is sometimes harder than forgive others, even for the same things. But it should be done. It’s not about not feeling guilt when there is a reason for it or never blame yourself, not hearing the whisper of conscience. No, the point is to let yourself live after all.
13. Read books
I am a bookworm, but I do not think that everyone should be the same. What I advice is just read on a regular basis, and, what is important, a good books. It develops memory and intelligence, expands vocabulary and range of vision.
14. Do not compare yourself and your life with others
We all do it anyway, and that’s fine, it even stimulates in some way. I am talking about other. Do not attempt to adjust your life under the scope of someone else’s life, don’t try to put it on yourself and try it on. If your life it’s different from your neighbor or a classmate, it does not mean anything. We are all different, we have different way of living, different abilities, desires, goals, talents, perception of reality. Remember, paragraph 2: we will always be wanting more (even those who now are more successful than we are). Focus on your goals, needs and ideals. Let them be different, but let them be yours. Do not waste your strength in vain. It is difficult, but possible.
15. Drink more water
No tea, coffee, juice, soda, and other things. Just plain water. There are a lot of articles about the benefits of such habit, as well as about how to calculate your daily dose.
Living in a furious rhythm, torn between work, friends, family, hobbies, work again, sleeping is something that we sacrifice most of the time. But the consequences won’t let you wait for long. Try to sleep well on the weekends, and during working week don’t neglect the 6–8 hours of sleep.
17. Remind your loved ones about your feelings
This does not mean you have to talk about it constantly and demonstrate all the time. Just do not rely only on the “it’s obvious”. Maybe yes, maybe no. Remind people that you love them and care about them. You can do it with the help of words (sometimes there is a real need to say it once again), but better with actions. And it’s not about the presents, though they will not be superfluous, but the signs of attention and care, which can be very simple, but very pleasant.
18. Be well-educated
Too often we forget about simple things, such as: to say “thank you”, “sorry” and “please”, hold the door, to give place to older person or someone who need it more than we do, to lend a hand, apologize, etc .. This is not something than worth admiring, it is something that should be the norm.
19. There will never be “that moment”, don’t wait
The feeling of “non appropriate time” (too early, too late, not exactly that time, not that place…) will be present in life more often than the opposite one. The point is that there are no perfect moments. Do not waste time waiting for something non-existent, act!
20. Don’t wait all the time negativity from everyone and everything
I’m not an adept of positive thinking, but I can definitely say: «negative mind will never give you a positive life». By having fear and thoughts about negative events, situations and people, by underestimating yourself and overestimating risks you never make changes for the better. Be careful, but do not overdo it.
21. Do not live only in the future
Many of us make the same mistake. We are all waiting for tomorrow in order to do something, for Monday to start a new life, for vacations to take a rest, for next year to change life for the better … we are missing a lot of chances waiting for the illusive moment in the future, not seeing anything around us. It is good to make plans but there is no need to be blind to what is happening at this moment, today, and underestimate it.
22. Don’t live in the past
Don’t forget past, but assimilate one thing — it doesn’t exist anymore. The end. The past is there, where you can never go back. But it can determine places you won’t be able to reach, if you will always move with your head turned back.
23. Be honest
With others and with yourself. Yes, we all can tell not the whole truth, embellish some details, but I am talking about global untruth. Don’t lie neither yourself nor others. Your conscience will be clean and your relationships with people better. Truth liberates.
24. Go to the end
It does not matter whether we are talking about mountains hiking or drawing lessons or career or sports or personal life, don’t give up halfway. Squeeze yourself, overcome laziness, pain, doubts and other factors that are standing in your way. Maybe you won’t be able to reach the goal, but you have to be sure that you did everything possible.
25. Remember the phrase: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”
It is applicable to everything and everyone (even to you). It always works in all areas of life. Therefore, listen to the words, but focuses on actions.
26. Don’t try to justify yourself
If you are too lazy to go to the training, don’t attempt to find the logical or other “good reasons” to justify yourself. If you are not too interested in the meeting, don’t try to explain it by distance, mood, fatigue from work. Just say to yourself the truth: “I’m lazy, I don’t want to, it is not interested for me that much, I don’t really need this, I don’t have enough willpower, I don’t care, etc”. Self confession will give you the understanding what to do: act or leave as it is, but don’t try to make yourself better in your own eyes when there is no reason for it.
New language, new hobby, new sport, new people, new places, new job, new destinations. Try! We live just once and life is short, don’t waste it on same old routine occupations, long-trodden paths and usual places.
28. Don’t be afraid of responsibility
If you won’t be decisive, most likely, many positive things and events will pass you by. We always want everything to be easy and simple, without complicated solutions, without making hard choices, without taking responsibility etc. But the time when you could afford to “go with the flow” is over, in fact, somewhere in kindergarten. Responsibility is difficult, resoluteness requires courage, but it is something that will determine your accomplishments at the end and your satisfaction about your lifetime achievement.
29. Appreciate good people around you
It doesn’t matter is it your family members, friends, colleagues, former classmates. If these people are present in your life and make it better, appreciate it and respond to them in return. Strong, positive, and trusting relationships with people is one of the biggest treasures of life. These people can become your support, your shoulder, your inspiration, your strength. People have a lot of talents, abilities, “roles” which they can carry in your life, meaning that you can give them and those which they can give to you.
30. Once I have read a phrase which periodically I repeat to myself when in fact there is a need: Life goes on, with or without you. Keep this in mind and make the right choices.