LEAKED: Bob Liu’s Embarrassing ‘Magic the Gathering’ Obsession Outed as Front for Even More Embarrassing Regular Magic Obsession
Anonymous sources Monday evening revealed that Machine handler Bob Liu’s well documented obsession for the card game ‘Magic: The Gathering’, is in fact a front for an even more embarrassing obsession with performing actual magic tricks.
This sad, sad discovery occurred when a computer owned by Liu was left unattended at a teammate’s apartment, providing clear details of the cover up. One source explained “Bob went out for food and I grabbed his computer to quickly check my email, and that’s when I realized that something was up.” The idling ‘Magic the Gathering’ online tournament page that was left open on Liu’s browser was actually for a tournament that occurred over two years ago.
Upon searching Liu’s bookmark bar, hundreds of YouTube links were discovered, linking to magic trick tutorials including: “101 Card Tricks”, “Using Your Off-Hand”, and “The Water Tank Escape — Magic Unlimited”. Furthermore, hidden by the expired tournament homepage was a half written response to a Craigslist post titled: “Experienced Magician and/or Clown Needed for 3rd Grade Birthday Party.”
“After seeing his bookmarks, I just had to see how far down the rabbit hole went,” one disturbed teammate stated. Liu’s browser history revealed a 10 minute montage of David Copperfield’s greatest illusions, and an unpublished video of Liu himself titled “Bob — Rings — Test 7". The video appeared to be self recorded in Liu’s mother’s basement and showed Liu clumsily separating and re-connecting a series of metal rings to the beat of Darude’s Sandstorm.
Sources also discovered an untitled document that appeared to contain potential stage names for Liu’s magic act. (List included below verbatim)
- The Slight of Handler (too cheesy?)
- 808 the Great
- The Il-Liu-sionist
- ([sic]crossed out) Magic Mike
- The Amazing Bob
Not answered during the thorough invasion of Liu’s privacy was a reason for Liu continuously wearing headphones, but the 200+ episodes of the podcast “The Magic Word: For Magicians — About Magicians” on his iTunes are thought to be related.
Liu’s teammates were unsure how to broach the subject of the weird magic cover-up. “Why couldn’t his search history be filled with something normal, like porn?” one teammate asked.
At the time of publication, Liu was returning to the apartment.