A few years ago I wrote two articles (Who you are is how you Lead & Changing our Lives Starts at Work), of which I am very proud of, and had intended to write more. However, I couldn’t get out of my own way. I was literally stuck and couldn’t get unstuck. My partner and close friends would ask me why I haven’t been writing and I would just make an empty excuse about not having time or being tired…mind you I had plenty of energy to browse my sports websites, refresh twitter and do things that I wanted to do.
I never considered myself a writer, I still don’t, I consider myself as someone with a point of view to share that can benefit others. It was this point that got me stuck a few years ago. I wondered if that was a true statement, wishful thinking, or a complete farce. Today, I still have those same thoughts, i’ve learned these thoughts are trying to protect me, but I find putting my voice, or words in this case, out there regardless of outside validation to be important in of itself.
For years, I did not think my thoughts, experiences, questions, etc. were “good enough”. Now I’m realizing it doesn’t matter if they are or are not but that each of us is able to and should express what is in our heart, mind and soul. If by expressing and sharing one other person can feel like they are seen or feel like “me too”, then how cool is that. If no one feels this way, then that is fine also because the goal wasn’t to impress but simply to express.
I am becoming more comfortable and confident in my own skin and realizing that for me this will probably be ongoing. I am learning that the key for me is to realize that I can lead the parts of me that tell me I am not enough or that care too much about how others see me and that I am not condemned by them. These are parts of me, so for me to hate on them, ignore them or yell at them would mean that I am doing that to myself…ahem this is how for many years I dealt with myself…I deserve more kindness, compassion and grace than that.
So, this is my new start. I am going to write about topics around leadership, coaching, equity, and occasionally sports. I hope that people read my thoughts, commentary and ideas but if you don’t or if you think it is trash that is ok. I am doing this so that I can express myself.
Cheers to sharing more and letting myself lean into it without being caught up in pleasing others.
