Be a best friend
I have a lot of friends. Most of them are average friends, some are closer and some are my best buddies. Through my education and career life, I’ve been in touch with a lot of people. Many of them became my friends. They are good people, no doubt. But still I cannot claim to be equally comfortable with all of them.
“Why is that?”- One of my cousins asked me the other day. I gave it some thought. Tried to sort out what I really look for in a person to treat him /her as a good or best friend. This is actually a quite common ground. There are some inevitable rules you have to follow to turn an average friendship into best. Friendship goals may vary from person to person, but some qualities are a must to be a loyal friend. I’d like to focus few of them for my readers.
In friendship, one of the most important issue is dependency. When someone take you for a friend, s/he will definitely try to depend on you in some way or other. It’s not that it’ll become your 24/7 duty to take care of them, but you have to be beside them when they need you.
Always try to keep a promise when you make one. And expect the same from your friend. Being firm in keeping promises not only makes you a bold person, but also shows how much you care for your friend.
Hold your friend’s hand in a time of crisis. Don’t let him/her feel alone at him/her struggling period. May be your friend had a bad day, lost someone dear, went through a breakup, or may be s/he is just feeling low. Whatever the crisis is, be there. Try to help your friend if possible. While doing so, go beyond the call of duty. Try to be his/her guardian angel. If there is nothing you can do to help him/her out, still be there to give some consolation. Do not judge your friend, and never ever use the phrase “I told you” when s/he is in distress. Be a good listener and try to give thoughtful advice.
Be honest to your friend. Trust should never be an issue among friends. Befriend people you can trust and earn their good faith. Do not use people for your benefit. That is a very mean thing to do, and once they realize, they are most likely never going to trust you again.
None of us are faultless angels. “To err is human”. But whenever you make a mistake, do not delay or hesitate to apologize to your friend. A simple “sorry” might mend a broken heart and heal a wounded friendship. Don’t let your ego come in the way of your friendship if you are truly sorry and apologize from your heart, your heartfelt apology will surely be appreciated and granted by your friend. Similarly, when your friend makes a mistake and apologizes for it, learn to forgive. Remember, “To forgive is divine”.
Do not judge your friend and do not try to completely change them. Whatever your friend is like, accept him/ her for who s/he is. Though you can definitely give some good and thoughtful advice and suggestions from time to time, you still have to accept them as they are.
Being a good friend does not mean leaving the rest of the world. Give your friend space when s/he needs it. Be respectful to your friends. Don’t be cynical towards them. You don’t have to agree to everything your friends say, and obviously can have a different opinion. But while making your point, don’t hurt your friends’ feelings.
Friendship will never remain the same with the course of time. High school, college and adult world will cause evolution in your friendship. Cope up and let the friendship evolve. Appreciate the changes in your friendship and grow along with it. But stay in touch with your friends no matter what. Do not wait for a “College reunion” to patch up with your best buddy. Try to be a selfless friend. Do not start counting how much time and effort you gave and how much you got in return. Because if you have a true friend, then taking the time to nurture a lifetime friendship is worth every single ounce of effort.
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