Aug 24, 2017 · 2 min read
Hi Scott,
I’m so sorry to hear you have to go through this. It’s scary to comprehend your mortality for the first time. I’ve been there. You’re going to have a lot of emotions in the coming days, months, and even years.
I hope you don’t mind me sharing my unsolicited advice, but I’m going to share things that people don’t tell you when you get sick.
- You’re going to go through the grief cycle. Repeatedly. It will unlikely be “in order”, and just when you think you’ve completed the process, it will start all over again. I highly recommended therapy and learning about the grief cycle so you can be prepared. It’s much easier to deal with your emotions when you knew it was coming.
- This piece of advice is probably the most important; it also goes against anything you’ll hear. Don’t fight it. Don’t fight your cancer. Work with it. Fighting it will just wear you out. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take care of yourself like you would your child. Tired? Rest. Hungry? Eat, even if the only thing you can get down is Ice cream. Don’t push yourself too hard. The best way to fight is to take care of yourself.
- Practice gratitude. You can make this a family activity, too. It will help you in your darkest hours, your toughest moments, and even your happy ones.
- Write down all your questions and new symptoms before your apointments. This will help you when stress brain makes you forgetful. If doc allows it, record the visit. If not, bring something to write down what doc says, new terms doc uses, and instructions.
- Finally, go find a therapist. And a support group. I know I mentioned it before, but it’s extremely important. Extremely. Family and friends are fantastic support, but there are some things they just.won’t.get. A therapist can help you with your emotions and feelings, especially those you don’t feel comfortable sharing with the people in your life who are trying to cope with your diagnosis. (I highly recommended therapy for your family, too). And support groups will have people going through what you’re going through. They typically have fantastic advice like, “if you have this symptom from this drug, try this solution”. And they’ll understand everything you’re going through.
Good luck, and take care of yourself. I’m sending positive energy your way.
