An overdue reply to your question

“Why do you like me?”

I often replied to this with the same answer: “Because you like me.”
Upon first glance, this answer seems shallow, but it’s not.
Our story began when you saw me sitting at the park and thought that I was cute and ‘mysterious’. We started texting a bit and I caught on that you liked me. At the time I liked a different girl and I had to tell you to not lead you on. We stopped talking for months, about half a year. Thanksgiving came and I received a text. It was from you saying “Happy Thanksgiving!”. I replied back. Apparently it was you sending that message on blast to all of your contacts, but it seems I was also the only one who replied back. We decided to meet up and go Black Friday Shopping the next day. It was a bit awkward because another friend tagged along, I forgot why he was there. We sat at the park for a bit after shopping, we stared into each others eyes for a bit. We met up a few more times since then. I asked you finally, “Do you still like me?” and you replied “No.” Later, you told me that you were lying because you didn’t want us to not talk again if I found that you still liked me. But after finding out that you did, I was overwhelmed with this feeling of gratitude and possibly love. Thank you for still liking me for so long. Words can’t explain how it feels to know that there’s a person out there who would like me, who held onto those feelings for me for half a year even though I rejected her, I was overwhelmed by that feeling. I wanted to show you my gratitude and not let your feelings go to waste. We started dating. We actually had many things in common, just not hobbies. But this passage sums up the meaning behind “Because you like me.” You knew what it meant too, but sadly, it probably wasn’t the answer you were hoping for.

After the breakup, I now realize what it was. The real answer to the question.

I like you because you are weak. I also am a weak person, I know that. But being around you makes me feel strong. I want to protect you from all the negativity in your life: from your parents who you have bad relations with, from the friends who lied and stole from you, from the depressive thoughts that you had in your head. I wanted to be your everything: the parent who would provide for you, the friend who would always be there for you and never betray you, the boyfriend that loved you unconditionally. Your weakness was an attractive feature.

Now, you’ve gone away and told me how much you’ve changed. That you learned to be independent and be an adult, that you’ve matured. Maybe that’s why your feelings for me changed. You no longer needed me to protect you anymore, you’ve grown up within the few weeks you were gone. Your relationships with your parents have gotten better, you now have friends by yourself at all times of the day, and even found a boyfriend who has more things in common with you than me and could drive. I have no more role to play in your life. I also lost my purpose in life and realized how empty it is. I didn’t simply just lose a girlfriend, I also lost a child that I was protective of and a friend that I cared a lot about.

We weren’t really friends to begin with before dating. You also tend to say that we don’t have things in common. Then is there really a point in trying to be friends? We don’t have common hobbies anyways.. we don’t have common interest to talk about either. What would we do together as friends? It’s just that I’m a weak person. I’m not willing to cut off someone that I’ve spent three years of my life with. I’m not willing to let go. It’s because I’m weak. I know.

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