Dear Sociopath There is nothing I would love better right now than to punch you in the motherfucking nose.
Who the hell do you think you are, coming around with your fake compliments, assuming I'm so needy and devoid of self-esteem I will swoon and relent and let you into back into my life? I know that's your pattern. I know that is what most of the women in your life do--they relent and let you back because women are raised to be "nice." To see the good in people. Because people are, at heart, "good."
I used to feel that way, too. And as a professional empath, it is vital that I keep my empathic nerves open or I will find myself unemployed. It is a difficult situation to be in--after 53 years of being targeted by one psychopath after another, I would love nothing more than to stop feeling anything for anyone. The other side of the coin is...if I don't feel, I don't eat. And everybody needs to eat.
Four months ago you committed the ultimate betrayal. I'm not talking about the way you distorted our relationship (if you'll recall, it was me who told you, "I don't want a boyfriend. But you can be my southern California boyfriend. That position is open.") and presented it, in a sideways fashion, as if I just can't get enough of you and am so depserate for a man I will even accept a relationship 2500 miles away.
I'm not even talking about the way you randomly insulted me, called me names and told me I needed you to bring out my musical talent (which, by the way, caused me so many eyerolls I don't think my eyeballs will ever work the same).
Nope. I want to set all that bullshit aside and tell you what, to me, the real betrayal was: You couldn't just walk away. You tried to destroy me emotionally, professionally and physically.
For the sake of brevity I’m going to bullet point this shit:
- You did this by lying about our conversations. You took tiny snippets of my messages out of context and posted them to Facebook, inviting your followers to join you in ridiculing me. Many of the things you took out of context and posted were from weeks-old conversations and had nothing to do with how you presented them. "Why would he do that?" people have asked. Because you’re a fucking sociopath and that’s all you had to work with. That’s why.
- You told exceptionally gross lies about me, lies that put me in physical danger. I know you try to play coy and say, "Oh, but I don’t name names." But that is some weak-ass sauce and you know it. You used a clever play on words to out me hoping it would cause me trouble. And the things you implied had the potential to destroy my life. You were very aware that I don’t have the money to fight the bogus claims you threw out, and you banked on that. Fortunately, I have excellent legal counsel, and he assured me if anything came of your abusive rumor-mongering I was looking at a very juicy lawsuit.
- You publicly lied to hundreds of people about your motivations for being involved with me at all. You said you were just trying to help someone "repair her reputation." The truth is, I’m one of the strongest bitches you’ve ever met, and you needed to take me down because all women are a threat to you. The strongest women are the biggest threat. (Incidentally, you did not take me down--all you did was make yourself look like a fucking loser. If you could have seen how my phone and inbox blew up when you started your smear campaign, you would never show your face in public again). I don’t give a rat’s ass about my reputation, and, frankly, my reputation is one of take no prisoners. Everyone who knows me knows that. All you did was shore that up.
I could add to this list ad naseum, but it would be boring so let’s leave it as-is for now.
Instead, let’s do what you do best: Talk about you.
You are such a classic case you are truly a caricature of the typical sociopath. You fuckers have a pattern that is so tried and true it is not an exaggeration to call it "textbook":
First, you told me you were "taking me seriously," even when I insisted I am not in the market for a relationship (idealize).
Then, when I began to waiver under your charm, you started gaslighting me in an attempt to convince me I am weak, needy and insecure (devalue).
When that failed, you started looking for reasons to cut me out of your life. You called me a liar. You insulted my body. You insulted my talents. You insulted my studies. You insulted my career.
And I left. Who needs that shit? I got on with my life. I only knew you a few months; it’s not like I had anything invested in you anyway.
The four months between now and then have been excellent, too. I spent two months in Europe. I dated many men, and was pursued by many more, all of whom were 100 times the man you will ever be. I came home to a community that loves me and missed me. I came home to a new career. I live a goddamn awesome life.
You can’t let it lie, though. You had to try to re-establish communication. You have burned through your most recent target and need a quick fix, and you thought I would be easy. You thought I would be soft. You thought I would be needy.
Well I’m not, bitch.
Losing a psychopath is like losing a fucking tapeworm -- you guys cling and cling and cling to your source until you die and are forcibly flushed out of the system. Even then getting rid of you is a long, painful process.
I’m not buying your bullshit, so just stop trying. You are no longer a part of my life, and you never will be again. Stop emailing me. Stop texting me. Stop butting in on my Facebook conversations.
It’s time to give up. Go away. I’m not buying what you’re selling. This is my final statement on the subject.
Fuck off, psychopath.