How Will I Know I Have Completely Healed from Narcissistic Abuse?

It’s kind of like how you know when you’re in labor — you KNOW.

Melissa Kalt, MD
6 min readJan 16, 2022


Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

The space between knowing and feeling is vast.

  • You may know you are better off without the narcissist, yet you feel like you miss them.
  • You may know the narcissist lied to you yet feel like maybe after this time apart, they’ve changed.
  • You may know narcissistic relationships are not good for you yet feel attracted to narcissists.

Cognitive healing can happen quickly under the right circumstances.

Healing your body and spirit take a commitment, not only time.

On the journey from narcissist victim to antifragile narcissist survivor, there are 5 steps.

Step 1: Awareness and Education

Step 1 is where you start to learn about narcissism.

  • Maybe someone has encouraged you to look into it.
  • Maybe you’ve stumbled upon it after searching for answers to explain a dysfunctional dynamic.

This step is where your eyes start to open and you continue to grow in awareness and insight for the rest of your life.

After completing this step, you notice:

  • You feel like you have some insight and understanding.
  • You might read or watch something and say, “THAT’S what I was living for 30 years.”

Step 2: Exit the Toxic Relationship(s)

It’s not possible to completely heal while you’re in the relationship, particularly if you’re living with your abuser.

  • This step involves leaving or significantly changing the relationship.
  • If it’s a romantic relationship, you leave.
  • If it’s a family member, you go no or minimal contact.
  • If it’s a co-worker, you either leave your job, move to a different department, or find another way to distance yourself from the impact of that person.



Melissa Kalt, MD

Solver of Unsolvable Problems/ Master Healer/ Physician/ Narcissist Abuse Survivor and Expert/ Author/ Mother of 5.