The answer may surprise you — Even if the narcissist was devaluing and planning to discard you, your discard of them comes as a surprise — sometimes a pleasant one, but most often not. The discarded narcissist may feel many things — often several at once. Shocked and confused Remember the narcissist is playing a role in the reality…

You better hold onto your hat! — When a covert narcissist realizes they’re losing you, their gloves come off. The covert narcissist will pull out all the stops. The abuse that made you want to leave? That’s small potatoes. The covert narcissist is in this relationship for the long haul and doesn’t want to lose your narcissistic…

When will the honeymoon be over? — While the devaluation and discard stages often overlap for an overt narcissist, not so with a covert narcissist. The devaluation stage begins almost immediately with a covert narcissist, though you won’t likely recognize it as such. Why? Because subconsciously, the covert narcissist feels intense shame and fear about who they…

Do they hope you’ll contact them? — Narcissists often watch you after you leave them for 4 predominant reasons. #1 They want you as a backup source of narcissistic supply Whether you chose to leave them, or they chose to leave you, you can be sure they have backup narcissistic supply, even if it’s their flying monkeys. Narcissists like to have numerous sources of supply. After you leave…

It’s like living with the invisible enemy — Living with a narcissist, living in a narcissistic home, can be impossible to recognize if you don’t know the signs. …

Sometimes all you want is to see the relationship from the rear-view mirror — You’ve broken up. It was hard. No, it was really hard. Maybe you got up the courage to end the abuse and leave. Maybe the narcissist beat you to the punch and left. Either way, they’ve moved on and you’re left picking up the pieces of your life. You find…

You didn’t expect them to be happy for you, did you? — The narcissist has a strong need to be better than you. They felt it from day one. They tolerated you because you elevated their status, provided resources, including narcissistic supply, and you reinforced their persona to both themselves and the world. When they felt you did those things adequately, you…

Holy crap, this list is long… — Let’s cut to the chase. Being married to a narcissist is EXPENSIVE. There’s no way around it. It’s costly to your emotional health and well-being. It’s also costly to your pocketbook. Relevant factors include… The type of narcissist, Which of you makes or has inherited more money, and Whether you’re…

It’s crazy making until you see it clearly — Narcissists are masters of destroying or sabotaging their own relationships. This is one of the reasons it’s not possible to make them happy. This sabotage is driven by 3 key factors: 1. The lack of whole object relations and object constancy 2. The need for narcissistic supply 3. The need…