Conversations with my plumber (in Russia)
My shower water is broken. It runs hot and cold and has only two options: boiling and freezing. Of course, it does — I live in Russia.
If you’ve never lived in Russia, you would be forgiven for not knowing you can’t drink the tap water here and that the government heats your shower water for you. You definitely shouldn’t drink the hot water.
My shower has now been broken but functional for three months, so I’ve been putting off contacting the plumber. Today I took the plunge because I needed an excuse to work from home.
But because I am a foreigner with decently mediocre Russian, the plumber doesn’t come alone. He brings the building’s “dispatcher” man too (to translate my Russian into real Russian). They think I’m wrong about my shower, I can tell.
Dispatcher: When it start?
Me: Two months ago. In November.
Dispatcher: But you know, the water is always like this. Hot and cold. It’s okay.
Me: No, it wasn’t like this before.
Dispatcher: Tell me, you shower at peak time?
Plumber and dispatcher share a look and turn on the tap. I try to figure out Russian grammar.