Stop Telling Your Colleagues to Just Google It
Working with people sucks, but it doesn’t have to.
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I was sipping on my morning coffee in the open space, when Alex, a new hire, asked Max, a senior developer in our team, a code related question. Max, who seemed quite annoyed with the interruption, replied abruptly: “Why don’t you just google it?”
“If you have never experienced such rude comments at work, It’s hard to describe the feeling.” Says Dr. Christine Porath, in her book Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace, “I started my research thinking that jerks out there were intentionally ruining workplaces; I now see that most bad behavior reflects a lack of self-awareness.” I tend to feel that way as well, and to resolve any conflict; I first try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective.
For starters, open-space configuration is not ideal for focused work. With constant interruptions and noise, it’s hard to concentrate on the task at hand. In his book, It Doesn’t Have to Be Crazy at Work, Jason Fried argues that It’s hard to be productive with fractured hours, but it’s easy to be stressed out. “No wonder people who work like that can be short- or ill-tempered!” he says.
“Google It!” can have many meanings. To me, it means “Learn to use the vast resources at your disposal.” Maybe your question could be solved by reading the documentation. Perhaps someone already solved a similar problem in a StackOverflow question or an issue in a Github repo.
On Asking Questions
Studies conducted by sociolinguist Dr. Kathryn Remlinger confirm that men are less likely to ask questions in public situations, where asking will reveal their lack of understanding. As part of her research, Dr. Remlinger interviewed six students at length, three men and three women. All three men told her that they would not ask questions in class if there was something they did not understand. Instead, they said they would try to find the answer later by reading the textbook, asking a friend, or, as a last resort, asking the professor in private during office hours.
Being a woman in tech, I have worked in male-dominated workplaces for a while now, and I think I have intuitively adapted my communication style. I’m wondering if asking questions is good or bad and what impact it can have on a person’s career.
A friend of mine told me about a recent conflict she had at work. She was working on a diagram that a software architect in her team came up with. She noticed that something was wrong, so she walked up to him and politely asked: “I don’t understand this relationship, can you explain it to me?”, to which he replied: “Do I have to explain everything to you? Can’t you read UML!”. My friend was frustrated, and rightly so, that was rude! As it turned out, he did make a mistake in the diagram and apologized to her the next day.
What I find interesting here is that instead of delivering explicit criticism and telling him that he made a mistake, she was trying to be polite and turned the question around: ”Maybe I don’t understand this.” I believe this is one of the countless misunderstandings caused by differences in our conversational styles.
My friend delivered the criticism in a way she would have wanted to receive criticism herself: taking into consideration the other person’s feelings. Her colleague perceived it differently and thought that she couldn’t read a UML diagram.
In her book, Talking From 9 To 5, sociolinguist Dr. Deborah Tannen writes about the problems women face when they ask questions, particularly in the workplace: “A physician wrote to me about a related experience that occurred during her medical training. She received a low grade from her supervising physician. It took her by surprise because she knew that she was one of the best interns in her group. She asked her supervisor for an explanation, and he replied that she didn’t know as much as the others. She knew from her day-to-day dealings with her peers that she was one of the most knowledgeable, not the least. So she asked what evidence had led him to his conclusion. And he told her, “You ask more questions.”
Even when you feel confident about asking questions, others may view it as a lack of knowledge. Some people are more assured about getting the right information when they look it up themselves. I don’t think people should stop asking questions altogether, but I think looking up things first and explaining what you have tried already will help in communicating with your colleagues. And as a senior developer, asking questions that others might be thinking could help lower the bar and encourage your teammates to present their ideas and suggestions.
On incivility at the workplace
According to the American Institute of Stress, stress at work has been on the rise. In their study, 28% of people reported that their stress at work is caused by “people issues,” and 12% of people have called in sick due to work-related stress. Incivility at work is costly to organizations, not only in the direct healthcare-associated costs but also in terms of lost productivity and motivation.
In a study, Dr. Christine Porath and her team sent a survey to business school alumni working at different organizations. They asked them to describe one work-related situation where they have felt disrespected and answer questions about how they reacted. They found out that incivility in the workplace degrades people’s motivation. 66% of the people surveyed cut back on efforts at work, 80% lost time worrying about what happened, and 12% left their job.
In her book, Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace, Dr. Christine Porath concludes that “incivility robs you of your cognitive resources, hijacks your performance and creativity, and sidelines you from your work. Even if you want to perform at your best, you can’t because you’re bothered and preoccupied with the rudeness.”
Organizations must reflect on how to overcome incivility and create a thriving environment. One obvious way to accomplish that is to avoid hiring rude people altogether. Although everyone put on their best attitude during an interview, I found that by having the candidate meet the team, your colleagues might pick up on specific points that you have overlooked in your assessment. It’s valuable to ask everyone for their feedback and see if they think this new person will fit in.
People have different working and communication styles. To collaborate, We should be aware of our style and how others might perceive it. It doesn’t take much to be more thoughtful in our interactions, but it can make a big difference in the company culture.
Resources:
- Fried, Jason. It Doesn’t Have to Be Crazy at Work.
- Porath, Christine. Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace.
- Tannen, Deborah. Talking from 9 to 5.
