The Toxic Gossip Train: An Analysis of Apologies
The Dialectics of Modern Famous Apologies
It is hard to imagine our modern celebrity world today without insincere, over-the-top, non-apologies. The notes app has become iconic for being where the world’s worst apologies to the most horrendous allegations are documented, to then be fed to the mob. Youtube, as well, has seen its own share of apology videos that occasionally go viral.
The growth of these apologies is easy to see; as cancel culture continues, and more people routinely try to obtain some sort of vengeance out of public figures and their peers in a desperate attempt to feel like they have some agency over the injustices in the world, people will also try to defend themselves. Out of the shock of facing mass backlash that the human brain is incapable of processing, and their own ulterior motives, one response to being canceled is to grovel in front of your critics, and beg for their forgiveness, in the least sincere and most self-pitying way possible.
Unfortunately, we expect too much out of influencers and celebrities today; we are trying to get group of people known for being narcissistic and out of touch to also be a voice of reason on social issues. When this exact demographic is put into a position where they need to actually self reflect, be vulnerable, and show empathy to others, they are doomed to fail.
I’m going to look at some famous apologies as if they were a work of literature.
A Familiar Example; Shane Dawson
Youtuber Shane Dawson is no stranger to the get canceled-apologize for things you are not sorry for and won’t be forgiven for cycle. Over the years, he has released three apology videos that I was able to find through a Youtube search. I will mostly discuss his most recent apology video, which was released in 2020, entitled Taking Accountability. I recall how controversial the apology was even when it was first released; the like-to-dislike ratio and the attitude in the comments, over several hours, routinely changed sides. Shane would not return to the internet for a while, and his return was likewise controversial, with some deciding to forgive him, and others not.
I watched Shane a little bit when I was younger, mostly after his rebranding where he focused on conspiracy theories and other creepy videos, after his rebranding. Among the things he was canceled for was using racial slurs, portraying racist stereotypes, using blackface, making ‘jokes’ about being a pedophile or about harm to children and animals. I remember the infamous ‘I did not fuck my cat’ Tweet as well. I did watch videos about Shanaynay, for example, which was a racist portrayal of a black woman he often used blackface. When I was a kid, it didn’t register that the character was relying on many racial stereotypes, but now as an adult its obvious to me.
This is a core problem for OG Youtubers falling from grace; many of us were children when we were watching their videos, and so we were impressionable, we were easy to please, and we wouldn’t recognize some of the more questionable parts of our favorite Youtuber’s character. As we get older, however, not only does our taste in entertainment grow past toilet humor (hopefully), we also become more critical and more aware. Shane expressed his frustration that he was being canceled for things that happened long ago, but what he doesn’t understand is that wee were all 10 when he was doing those things, and now we’re looking back.
I chose to evaluate Shane’s apologies first because of how he utilizes all of the common tropes and strategies of other bad apologies. The first one is to address the least bad allegations; Shane apologized for specific instances, and treated them as if they were isolated cases, and ignored the fact that for many years blackface and pedophilia were the core of his humor, and his Youtube fame.
There’s also the classic cop-out of edgy humor, and saying that it was popular back then. Of course, the early 2000s lacked much of the political correctness we have today, but it wasn’t the 1950s, either, and Minstrel Shows had long fallen out of fashion.
For those who say ‘it’s just a joke’ in defense of themselves and others, I respond with Freud, The Joke and their Relation to the Unconscious. Freud believed that jokes were a way of confronting repression. With ‘edgy’ jokes regarding race, gender, etc, it’s important to ask whether the joke is making fun of the stereotype itself, or if they are affirming the stereotype and making fun of the group it targets. In any case, if you joke about something, especially if you joke about it a lot, it’s probably something that you’re thinking about. In Shane’s case, he has been thinking quite a lot about fucking children.
Of course, when you can’t talk your way out of it, you can always cry your way out of it. Around the 2010s, after some of Shane’s first apology videos, he went through a rebranding process. Instead of dark humor and the mean spiritedness of his earlier content, he started to portray himself as someone sensitive and empathetic. This included being more vulnerable to his audience about his past struggles, his sensitivity in conspiracy videos, making videos with anti-bullying themes, etc. His change in appearance even reinforced this; earlier Shane was skinny in an almost sick, emo kid way, while he later on gained a sort of dad-bod, that’s more warm and inviting.
In his apology video, he took the time to emphasize how upset he was with himself, how much he hates himself. This is a common manipulation tactic, which is supposed to make you sympathize with the person who may have done something wrong than the people who were affected by those actions.
Unfortunately, even the most manipulative sad-boy persona on Earth won’t work if reality simply isn’t on your side. Shane’s kindness and sensitivity that he tried to portray was only limited so that it benefitted him, and in a shallow way. Take, for example, the Eugenia Cooney situation. Eugenia Cooney is someone who has been visibly and profoundly anorexic for years. There was a glimmer of hope when she was brought into treatment. After pictures of her surfaced around online, where she had gained weight and looked much healthier, Shane Dawson took the opportunity to launch a documentary about her, which allowed her to successfully reappear online. Shane received a lot of praise for giving a sympathetic portrayal of Eugenia Cooney, but after Eugenia began to relapse and become worse than she was prior to the 5150, more people looked at it critically.
While Eugenia looked better, and seemed to at least acknowledge she had an eating disorder, it had only been a month. We were used to seeing her so underweight, so the progress looked stunning, but it was really small. And an eating disorder isn’t something you overcome overnight, and recovery can be very fragile. Shane appeared as though he were doing something nice for Eugenia, but in reality welcomed her back in to the same toxic cycle she had been in before.
Logan Paul and the Dead Body
Logan Paul is probably my least favorite person mentioned here. Despite not being talented, he and his brother seem to always be in the public eye for some mundane reason, not all of them positive. While both Paul brothers have numerous things they’ve apologized for, I’ve decided to do the one that I have the most vivid memories of, which was after he had filmed a dead body of a man in the Suicide Forest.
Japan’s Suicide Forest is forbidden to enter, and is a place where many go to take their own lives due to the denseness of the woods. Inside, you can see numerous signs pleading with those in the forest to think of their family. The dead body that Logan Paul filmed was definitely a person who had hung himself. The Paul brothers behaved like the stereotypical terrible American tourist, but the background of self harm makes it even more grotesque.
The apology video, entitled So Sorry only added insult to injury. The apology was so terrible, with the typical apology art skills of crappy camera quality to look more ‘authentic’ and deeply scripted, over dramatic lines. The opening of his apology, “I have made a severe and continuous lack of judgment…” is infamous.
In this apology, Logan Paul, who usually has the vocabulary of a third grader, wants to decorate his apology with the fanciest language he could possibly muster to show how serious he was taking it. The crux of the issue is that Logan Paul does not have the emotional depth or intellect to understand suicide. In this way, judging him would be like judging a tiger for eating a human child. These are why so many of these apologies don’t work.
The 2020 Effect
Apology videos exploded in the year 2020, due to two main factors; the Black Lives Matter movement meant that more people were starting to analyze things on the basis of race and show/
an interest in racism, and because of the lockdowns we were all inside being chronically online. Shane Dawson’s Taking Accountability was a part of this apology wave, as was Jenna Marbles. Laura Lee was another popular example of a crappy apology for past racist tweets.
Laura Lee is a beauty influencer who made racist jokes several years ago at the time of her apology video. Jeffree Star was the one to initially call her out after getting into a fight with her. Jeffree Star isn’t exactly known for not being racist, nor did he likely actually care about Laura being racist, but that’s not what mattered at the moment.
Her apology available included many tears, as well as proclaiming it was the ‘hardest thing’ she had ever done. The overblown sadness meant to elicit pity and the self-flagellation serve the purpose of flipping the script, so that the person apologizing is the victim, and the actual point of the apology is obscured.
To be fair to Laura, she did release another apology, to both her prior racist tweets and her bad apology. Compared to her second video, there is good camera quality, she is dressed up and wearing makeup. There are no tears. She admits that her previous apology video was a reaction to the criticism she was receiving. Getting hate from millions of online strangers must be overwhelming, and I don’t blame Laura for wanting to do anything to make it stop, but that also points to one of the core issues of cancel culture; you can force people to apologize, but it doesn’t mean they are actually sorry. Fear is fragile, and it is not reliable as a means of social change.
Shane Dawson also admitted that his prior apologies were mostly to stop the hate, but this raises the question in both instances; if you weren’t being sincere the first time, why should we believe you are being sincere now?
The 2010s Anti-SJW Subculture
The anti-sjw culture that existed on Youtube during the 2010s, that in my opinion peaked during 2015 and 2016, was a culmination of many things. Gamergate, in which gamers responded to what they felt was a feminist invasion of their subculture with misogynistic harassment campaigns, 4chan was also popular and famously had no rules as a platform, and Donald Trump was running for president. I do think Trump’s presidency contributed to much of the anti-political correctness backlash we saw in the culture, and naturally lead to the popularity of certain figures who championed the anti-sjw, cringe compilations, etc. The online atheist space was also in on this. Some people I can remember being popular were Ethan Klein, Leafy, and Kalvin Garrah. Anyone who was in Middle School at the time know how the fanboys of these types of people were the absolute worst. And I think surrounding Desantis, history is repeating itself.
If this round is anything like the last one, we’ll realize that cultural hysteria, such as the Satanic Panic and McCarthyism, always wears off over time, even if it does leave behind a lot of destruction. Hence, the figures who were associated with anti-SJW culture that peaked in 2015 and 2016 have either had to rebrand or perish. Leafy, for example, was deplatformed from Youtube entirely.
The Amazing Atheist released his own apology video where he disavowed his prior videos and viewpoints. Unlike many of the other apology videos, this was not a direct reaction to being canceled or criticized, and seemed to be out of genuine self reflection. During this video, he mentioned choosing not to respond to the people saying the Netflix show Wednesday was racist because a black character was a bully, because even though it’s ridiculous, doing so would evoke weird racist sentiments. This is the core problem of the anti-sjw genre.
Ethan Klein is interesting as he seems to be one of, if not the only content creator previously canceled by the left who’s been successfully rehabilitated. He gets into occasional controversies, but is ultimately still extremely popular, and is generally regarded as being a shitlib by right wingers. Kalvin Garrah, for example, wasn’t able to do the same with his apology video that was made in response to Brennon Beckwith, a trans youtuber who was mocked by Kalvin, speaking out about the impact Kalvin’s harassment had on their life.
Ethan has benefitted from being endorsed by popular figures on the online left such as Hasanabi, but also from continuously shifting his platform and his actions. In the case of Kalvin Garrah, we see that sometimes an apology just doesn’t cut it.
While the backlash to Kalvin Garrah initially began with Brennon’s video, more people who had also faced harassment from Kalvin’s audience came forward. In Kalvin’s apology video, he stressed the fact that he was a leftist and was going to law school in order to fight for criminal justice reform. He did try to change his content. But the core of what his platform was couldn’t just be erased by a crappy apology video.
Jenna Marbles: An Apology Done Right?
I never watched Jenna Marbles, but I know she was popular and well liked on the platform, and that a lot of people were upset when she decided to quit Youtube, and believed that she was an example of a genuine apology. She didn’t make a giant point out of being upset, no fake tears, no self pitying. She shows exactly what people were criticizing her for, and addresses all of it.
Jenna’s apology and exit from Youtube was used as an example of the harms of cancel culture, from people such as Pewdiepie. While people like Logan Paul don’t actually care about being a good person and therefore aren’t impacted by being canceled, those who actually are good people will respond to the criticism and be shut down by it.
However, it also seems like Jenna wanted to leave Youtube anyways. In a way, I think that the reaction to Jenna’s apology prove that it is possible to come back from a negative online presence, if you’re actually a decent person.
I don’t necessarily believe that everyone who demands an apology is looking to forgive, however. You don’t really stop an angry mob from apologizing to them; what you can rely on, however, is that mobs don’t have a lot of stamina. For the rich and famous, being canceled can just be like a minor setback, because people forget about it eventually.
Honorable Mentions: Hollywood & Music Industry Apologies
While most people associate Johnny Depp and Amber Heard with the defamation trial, but seven years ago, they had to release an apology video for sneaking their pet dogs into Australia, not following the country’s strict quarantine rules. It was mocked by late night hosts such as Steven Colbert, just because of how bizarre it was. It’s perhaps even more bizarre with the context of what their relationship was actually like. Amber did most of the talking, while Johnny occasionally came in with a comment, and the entire thing was awkward and very clearly not genuine.
It seems like cancellation for more traditional celebrities is a lot shorter than that of their social media counterparts. Ariana Grande, for example, faced controversy after licking a donut and saying that she hates America, something which most people have forgotten about by now but were angry about for all of a few weeks.
Even Travis Scott wasn’t under fire for long after there were some calls to boycott his music after Astroworld. While it wasn’t entirely his fault, as it was also the responsibility of security and the actual event planners to make sure that people weren’t entering tickets and that the venue could accommodate everyone. However, Travis famously encourages his fans to engage in bad behavior. His apology video, which was black and white for whatever the reason, was famously disingenuous, especially since people died. And yet, that wasn’t enough for him, or anyone, to face true consequences.
The Mother of All Apology Videos: Colleen Ballinger
All of this brings me to my final apology video, the one which inspired me to write this blog post; Colleen Ballinger. If you’ve been on Youtube at all in the past few weeks, you couldn’t have missed this; Colleen, better known by her online character of MirandaSings, had been exposed for sharing inappropriate messages with her underage fans. While these allegations have been out for a while, only recently has the tide turned against Colleen. Many people have pointed out that her live shows, as well, have featured inappropriate skits with very young children.
Colleen’s response puts all of these other bad apologies to shame; while her team told her she shouldn’t speak about it, Colleen thought that the best option would be to write and sing a ukelele song in which she evokes all of the classic narcissistic tropes; calling herself a loser so that you feel bad for her, ignoring the worst allegations and instead focusing on the least-bad, not directly addressing anything, simultaneously saying she did nothing wrong (not a groomer, just a loser) and demanding forgiveness.
Her response condemns her; someone who has truly been falsely accused of grooming or a similar crime would be horrified, not smug. The fact that Colleen is able to be so insensitive and blatantly unapologetic, to the point where she released the song on Apple Music, proves that she does not care. Hence, this is why cancel culture often times doesn’t work; you can’t cancel someone without a conscience.
What the Colleen situation reflects on are parasocial relationships between creators and their audience, and how this can be manipulated for sinister intents. Despite Colleen’s claim that she was just ignorant, she was 30 years old. Despite her big age, her teenage fanbase is apparently responsible for telling her that sending underwear in a group chat full of underage fans (or even having a group chat full of underage fans in the first place), is a bad idea.
So, Are Apologies Dead?
Taking accountability is a great thing. Making amends with people, and communities, that you have harmed is a great thing. We all make mistakes, and will all have to apologize at some points in our lives, and there is nothing wrong with that. We should be able to admit when we’ve done wrong. And just because you apologize doesn’t mean that you will be forgiven; nobody is required to forgive anyone, and ultimately actions speak louder than words — changed behavior is superior to nice words.
The issue is when apologies become a performance art, or a PR stunt, in order to salvage a career wrecked by controversy. The issue is when people apologize, and they aren’t even sorry.
