Are You Babysitting While He’s Mowing the Lawn?

One of the most surprising (and let’s be real, angering) findings from the 2016 Equity in Architecture report-a survey of the US architecture field by organization Equity by Design was that even in the first few years of work, men and women are engaging in different office tasks and stretch opportunities.

source: Equity in Architecture 2016 Survey

I’ve had a lot of people tell me that sexism is a problem of the past, and that as soon as the baby boomer generation retires and the holy millennials start making all the decisions we’ll be in a magical world in which women and people of color have an equal shot.

I don’t think so.

Because these findings shows is that gender tracking in jobs-whether we’re doing it to ourselves or being encouraged by our colleagues — is happening. It means that today, right now, in companies across America, women just entering their fields are being encouraged, or encouraging themselves to differentiate themselves at work in traditionally female ways.

We’re the proto-librarians and the party planners rather than the soon-to-be operations managers or strategic planners.

It’s “women’s work.”

The problem with this is that as a society we don’t value women’s work as much as we do men’s. Studies have shown that when women enter a field that has historically been male dominated, the salaries go in that field go down.

So what’s a girl — sorry, I mean — a woman to do? And what if you like planning parties or think that the office library is one of the most important resources in your firm?

Here’s a few of my tips on navigating a career world that pushes women towards one track, and then values that track less.

Tip #1: Try Out Tasks From The Guy Side

We need to be more openminded about our stretch opportunities. Take a look around. What are the opportunities to grow in your job, to go above and beyond your typical job description that you see people at your level taking advantage of, or there’s a need for? This could be anything from organizing a learning community on a new coding language to helping position the firm in a new sector.

Now look carefully. What are the men doing rather than the women? Talk to them about it. Ask them what they’re learning about the biz beyond their normal client workload and how they’re learning it.

Jot down a list of all the avenues open to you and then consider that list more holistically. Do some of those routes scare you because you’ve never done anything in that realm or you don’t think you’re ‘good at’ a certain task? Well, maybe it’s time to jump in. Leadership consultant Susan Colantuano says that one of the most important things women can start to do to move from middle management into leadership, is to pay attention to numbers — budget numbers, profitability numbers, and more. If numbers scare you, consider this the beginning of a very long woo-fest. You will get there.

And if you’re still feeling drawn to the women’s work tasks, do yourself a favor and take “a learning tour.” Spend two weeks focused on 2–3 of the options that scare you most. Talk to the people who work on them and ask them questions about their processes that you are curious about. Ask to be walked through examples or documents. Ask if you can go along to the next client meeting or discussion on the wiring system so that you can learn more about it.

Maybe you’ll find out that these topics are less scary than you thought, or more interesting than you thought — and you’ll remind yourself that you don’t have to be perfect before you show up. Learning on the job is ok. And, if you choose another area to put your growth energy into, you at least know about more business systems than you did a few weeks ago.

Tip #2: Make Women’s Work Worth More

And if your heart is truly drawn towards that library role or that next party, make sure your extra work is serving you more. Find ways to increase its perceived value among those around you, and find opportunities to leverage your involvement to make you go farther.

What this means is that you look for ways to a) build lasting structures out of that work, b) get recognition for that work, or c) tie that work to the business case for its value.

So rather than just a party, it’s an ongoing committee that finds ways to engage people who are new to the company. It’s not just a one-off event but something that you and your collaborators become known for. And you’re paying attention to the larger business case, and are in conversations with leadership about it. Do employees who are engaged early have an easier time integrating? Do they stay with the company longer? Do they get involved with ongoing office projects? Does that save the company money in sick days? Health benefits, and the cost of replacing employees lost to turnover? Women’s work matters, my friends, our economy just has a history of not connecting the dots.

I think of this approach as building equity through our activities outside of the job description. When you rent a house, you pay money every month but you don’t own anything at the end of the day. When you buy a house, each monthly mortgage payment means you are building lasting value for yourself. While you don’t have to run your entire life this way (it sounds like a pretty boring social life to me) this is an approach you can take to how you direct your career.

This is a concept I developed for myself a few years ago — and take it from me — you’re talking to the inveterate queen of new creative projects. In the space of just a few years I started a pop-up dinner club, a research collaborative, a creative events startup, an empowerment workshop and a consultancy…. and don’t get me started on my myriad unfinished DIY projects…

But over time I’ve learned that if I want to get somewhere I need a wraparound strategy around my creative impulses that help them go further, and make the case that they are of value. I like “female” things. I like helping people, and communication, and community building and more.

I wish they weren’t “female’ things. I wish we valued them more.

But in my everyday life, and in my work, I try to build the case to value them, and over the years I’ve learned (by necessity) not be be scared of “dudes’ things” and to hold my own with the big boys.

You can too. And when you do, you fast track your career growth, and you make more space for more kinds of leadership, male and female both.

And I want to live in that world.