January 7, 2016
Dear Black Women,
You have every right to be offended when your fellow Caucasian co-workers interrogate you about the many modes in which you may style your kinky-curly hair!
How often does Sally, Jane, and Margaret tell you they wish they can braid their hair and rock a natural twist-out they way you do? Sorry to break it to you my “sistah,” but they’re lying… Let me ask you this, does Rachel, Victoria, and Gretchen uninvitingly run their fingers through your hair as if there was a gravitational force drawing them closer to your scalp to answer their many questions?
If so, here is the perfect way to avoid their ridiculousness; but first, lets acknowledge a shared truth in regards to women all over:
Every single woman from planet earth has encountered hair disputes; white, black, yellow, green, or whatever race you choose to be, (since that’s morbidly acceptable in this day and age) understand that we all go through the same struggles when it comes to the shaggy strands of hair that grow from our heads. In the end, hair is important to us all!
Back to the point of this essay: I hate to say this, especially in reference to one of the best movies ever, BUT the Alicia Silverstone act during the only hours of which you’re supposed to be professional, (rather than clueless), is not appropriate for the ingenuous “black hair” questions that are doubly offensive. As an adult, it should be a mutual understanding that race has a little bit to do with physical traits, including hair texture. How else did you think black women could go a full week without washing their hair and still look presentable and most importantly remain clean?
Dear Annoyed Black Women,
My advice to you is to simply respond, “I am black” to all questions/comments referencing your beautiful mane. This is the obvious answer when it comes to lackluster inquiries that are un-deserving of an explanation.
As harsh as it may sound, us black women do not ponder on how white women get their hair pin straight, for we already know that a blow dryer and a flat iron can easily do the job. Those very same tools happen to do wonders to the thickened locks that we were conceived with!
Dear White Women,
Since we’re on the topic of hair, let me answer your questions now so you don’t ever have to offend another black woman at your job again!
You’re VERY welcome in advance!
1. Unless we want to wear our hair in a curly fro, getting it wet for the hell of it is not an option.
2. Number 1 is why we wear shower caps.
3. Blow Dryers and Flat Irons work on us too.
4. The coarse texture of our hair allows us to have braids that wont slip out of our heads.
5. The same extensions we use are equivalent to the clip-ins you attach to your head.
6. Extensions = Weave; Weave = Extensions… it is the same thing. Get it?
7. Perms/Relaxers make our hair straight and make your hair curly.
8. Oil/Grease serves a purpose for our hair. We need it!
9. A real hairstylist can style every, and any texture of hair gracefully…RACE doesn’t apply.
10. Don’t ask anything you can easily GOOGLE :)
You are all beautiful. Don’t be disrespectfully inquisitive when it comes to the physical traits of others, especially to something as SIMPLE as hair. It’s really not that hard and “us” black women hate it.