The Day my BLACKNESS Dawned on my Career as a Writer

So far my career path has only touched upon URBAN outlets of which my culture played a HUGE part in producing.

I began my start as a writer for a community newspaper in the South Bronx titled the Hunts Point Express… If you’re not familiar with New York, just know that the South Bronx is considered the SLUMS. Besides the location, my first published piece was built around Hip Hop.

My next venture would be Complex magazine, a huge digital outlet that explores music, art, culture, and more. During this time I was able to apply SOME of my blackness to my work, in terms of the many features that I’ve written for this company.

Then I merged to Vibe Magazine, the epitome of BLACK MUSIC, as a matter of fact, the legendary Quincy Jones BIRTHED Vibe in 1993.

Whilst I was a freelance writer for Vibe, I landed a position in the Promotions department at the biggest hip-hop radio station in the tri-state area, the station we all know as HOT 97!

I’ve jumped from Urban, to more Urban, to Classic Urban to URBANESQUE….

I came to a point in my career where I wanted to explore a different side of journalism. I wanted to test my skills as a writer, learn more, and appeal to a different audience. I wanted to get PAID, I wanted that WHITE paper [“paper” = slang for cash] I wanted the quintessential “The Devil Wears Prada” lifestyle, minus the absurd errands, and with some actual writing involved. I wanted to be the BLACK Carrie from Sex and the City…. so I began to search.

At this time I had no clue that this lifestyle was all in my imagination and in MOVIES for a reason… but hey, a girl has got to dream right?

Anyhow, after applying to Star magazine, someone in that department forwarded my information to an employee at MORE Magazine…

MORE Magazine was owned by Meredith Corporation; a company that carries Parents, Better Homes, Shape Magazine and a lot more LOL.

Immediately MORE sent over a job description that was not yet open to the public and asked if I was interested in interviewing for it etc…

We spoke on the phone on a Monday, and the interview was set for Wednesday.

I had one and a half days to get my life together and potentially land the classic editorial job I was longing for.

I went to KINKO’s and printed out a laminated portfolio to impress the Director of Marketing that I was set to meet with.

I practiced the sequence of which I was going to explain my resume and BOOM I was almost ready!

The night before I panicked about what I was going to wear…. and when I looked in the mirror I thought to myself wait…does this woman know I’m black?

Yes I know, my name is Miabelle; I doubt she thought I was white but STILL! No pictures of me have been revealed, at this time my Facebook page was deleted and my Instagram page could through extensive reSEARCH.

I suddenly got so nervous about my own identity that I began to panic. Was this woman going to judge me simply based off of the color of my skin? Was she going to think my tone of voice, mannerisms, and background as a writer was too black for the job?

Was my hair going to serve as a distraction? Were there other black people who worked for the company besides maintenance, and reception?

How do I conceal my blackness?

I voiced my concerns to my aunt, and she said: “You’re BLACK you can’t change how other people see you, all you can do is be confident in the BLACK WOMAN that you are. Now stop worrying and be you.”

The fact that I had these concerns almost makes me want to laugh and be sick at the same time. At that point in my career, I only been surrounded by minorities who’ve built outlets based on urban culture and to remove myself from that pool would be so different for me.

MORE Magazine catered to white women over the age of 30… I was young black, and 22 years young.

The interview actually went really well and the Director of Marketing loved my “spunk.” Nevertheless, the hiring process took a turn for the worst and ended up subsiding due to a major change in corporate.

The funniest part is, as I searched Google for MORE Magazine to see what they were up to AFTER deciding to write this piece, it has been brought to my knowledge that they no longer exist as of April 2016.

My point in writing this was to show how vulnerable I became for something as simple as my race. At that time, Corporate White America scared the shit out of me because of my black skin. I was afraid of being judged and stereotyped because of my culture.

I am sick and tired of my strength, assertion, and seemingly sassy character-traits being spoken for as BLACK.

Oh and that day, the only black woman I saw working at MORE Magazine was the receptionist.

If you enjoyed this piece, do me a favor and click the little green heart at the bottom and leave a response! I would love to hear what you think!

-Miabelle