Narcissism, the helpless Attempt to escape the Helplessness

When you listen to speeches of Donald Trump, you can hear very often: I will build a wall, I will destroy the ISIS, I will make the USA great again, I will create millions of new jobs, I am very intelligent, I am very rich, I am very successful and so on. The focus is on “I”.

In an interview he said about islamic people in USA: “I know a lot of islamic people, I like them. The islamic people I know are very rich”.

Another observation is, that he diminishes people and things in a very special way. He uses simple words like bad, very bad, worse, awful, terrible, catastrophe, desastre and so on. He severely devaluated Senator McCain, because he was captured and tortured by the Vietcong. He said that McCain is not a hero for him, because a hero is not captured. Trump was never in the army. He severely devaluated a USA judge as a hater, who accepted a case against him. He said, that the USA army is a catastrophe and devaluated over one million women and men.

Confronted by a lot of people, about these being severe faults, he was silent and later he repeated his accusations. He also refused to apologize for his devaluations. He said in a speech very angry, that he wants to hit them very hard.

This is defined as a narcissistic pattern. And he is not the only one, who is or tries to enter in a high political position or in a high position in an organization.

You find narcissistic behaviours very often in organizations in high level positions and mostly by man. They try to control the organization and situations. They fight to prevent, that they can fail. Their only focus is themselves. And they can´t accept, that they made a mistake. They fight and fight to avoid, that they have to apologize, because that is a sign, that they are not enough. They can also be violent.

They don´t have the resource to care for their own being enough.

I recommend to read the story about his fight after the democratic convention with Khizr and Ghasala Khan, an American Muslim couple, whose son was killed as a soldier in the Iraq. Khir hold a speech at the convention and Ghasala stand beside him. He asked Trump, if he ever read the American constitution and that he never sacrificed someone. Trump immediately started to fight against this couple devaluing them and the situation, where their son died. He escalates the fight, even his republican supporters try to stop him and to apologize.

Why they do that?

I offer one possible description for that. This people experienced deep and sustainable devaluations from their fathers. This devaluation leads to shame and a horrible helplessness to do something against this situations. Mechanisms to leave the helplessness is anger, rage and aggression. If you read the biographies of the dictators of this world, you will find always this pattern.

This devaluations lead to a strong desire to be accepted by the father. Even if the father already died, they construct an inner father, who is observing them permanently. They never know, if it is enough and if they are enough to fulfil this desire.

You can observe a lot of behaviours, that should support to realize this acceptance. They define, what is right and what is wrong and that even, when the environment is saying something different. Then they devalued the environment. They are demagogic because this defines themselves a good and wright and the others as bad and wrong. Only they can save the organization or the country.

And they can´t fail because they will find a lot of reasons in the environment.

With this behaviours they are attractive, magnetic and a model for other helpless and aggressive persons. So they can form consistent systems in relation to their definition of what is right and wrong. We call this systems “fascist”.

This persons are not able to work in teams, because teams are highly risky to feel not enough. Others can have other opinions or be critical and this will immediately interpreted as an own devaluation.

The challenge is what we can do, when we find this persons in organizations. I will answer this question in the next week.

Please think about this and I am looking forward for your comment. Thank you very much.

Please see also