An Introduction to Attraction: It’s More Than Sexual
Asexuality is frequently conflated with being attracted to no one. Yet, what does it actually mean to be attracted to someone? What are the, often ignored, complexities of attraction? And how does asexuality open these conversations up for exploration? While expressing my own identity as an asexual person in social spaces, I have often encountered many non-ace people who have responded to me with statements akin to “So you’re asexual, that means you’re attracted to no one, right?” or “Doesn’t that mean you don’t want to be with anyone?” Both of these questions are misinformed and can be invalidating for asexual and ace people, yet endure as prominent conceptualizations of asexuality in the contemporary moment. This propels the flawed perception that asexuality is a desire to be solitary or is simply an absence of attraction entirely, which does not reflect the experiences of most ace people.
Much of this stems from the perception that to be attracted to someone, there must be a sexual element to that attraction. As an asexual attracted to men, if I express to others that I am attracted to men without providing any further context, the attraction will be assumed to be sexual with a swift automaticity. This perception of attraction automatically being sexual has implications for both ace and non-ace people, especially for those who experience different or…
