I feel like this is a very important point regarding how hard it is for asexual/aromantic people who are willing and want to engage in a relationship find it to navigate between what others often think of as “mixed signals” when all we want, as you’ve stated, is exactly what we are suggesting (sensual intimacy).
Thanks for the response, but I still think this concept needs more fleshing out. I’ve had crushes but it always felt like love to me. All this feels stuff is confusing.
Thanks also from another reader. I never thought of human attraction in this multi-layered way before. It’s amazing. If we could all see ourselves as multi-natured this way, we would gain so much richness and depth in our view of ourselves. One thing I wish you had talked about more, though, was the definition of romantic attraction. You never…
It’s not just a gay experience- As a hetero male I’ve often been attracted to women as „friends“ – for their wit or interests or the things we have in common but pursuing the interest would always send out the signal that i am sexually interested – there really is no way around that – and I would have to give it up . And yes, I find life shallower because of that.
This has been a very educational (I mean this in the most sincere manner) article. I think your examples really helped me understand things more clearly and I never knew there was so many nuances in the queer spectrum. I feel more informed and empowered now. So thank you.
My seasonal depression and the meds I take to combat it leave me without sexual desire for long periods. In no way am I appropriating your experience of your asexuality, but during these periods not wanting sex, it does not feel like a disorder, a pathology, but just another way to be myself. The compulsion to be sexually “normal”, to pathologize…
Yes, it is true that toxic masculinity will make its presence known in every facet of our lives, however, more people like you Queen that speak out and share your stories will begin to break down this toxicity that pervades our society.
Thank you for sharing your story.