Put yourself first.
Plain & Simple.
I’m done putting you first. I’m over always making you a priority.
I’m a people pleaser. And honey let me tell you, you cannot please everyone – Not even those who may mean the most to you.
When you consistently put others before yourself, you forget about the one person who means the most to your happiness.
You are the key to your own happiness.
Stop letting others borrow that key. Stop letting others use that key over and over again until the key is dull and cannot open the door it was originally made for.
In this relationship I have been putting Him first. Always worrying about:
- His meals
- His dog
- His clothes
- Keeping everything clean
- Making His life absolutely perfect
- Saying the right things to Him
- And hiding the things that would upset Him (as in my own feelings about certain things)
Because I’m a people pleaser and heaven forbid someone is not 100% pleased with me or the things I do or the things I say. Especially the one Man who means oh-so much to me.
It’s not getting me anywhere. Not that I expected it to get me in His good books, but that it would make our relationship easy and enjoyable. That maybe, just maybe, those actions of kindness, caring, compassion would be returned.
It takes no effort to show the one I love that I care about them with small and large gestures.
Okay wait, that sounds terrible – no effort – obviously it takes effort, but it comes so naturally with this relationship that I don’t feel like I’m struggling to keep my head above water so to speak.
I just wish I was given the same.
I wish for just one second that I felt like I mattered.
I wish that for just one day He would think of me & show me how much I mean to Him.
I wish that He could put me first.
I wish we could find that balance of sharing first place in each other’s lives. Because, this is a relationship after all.
But until He can figure that out,