Your reflection highlights beautifully why Holacracy fits some and not others, it is not for everyone and that is okay. :)
I am glad I was able to help Tom, as you have a wealth of gifts and contribution to offer, which was the reason I highlighted the issue.
One thing that determines whether Holacracy is fitting or not is this consideration: Are you a Transformative Leader or a Visionary Leader?
Both have the same end view but the process they use to get there is very different. Transformative Leaders leverage more iterative processes, Visionary Leadership tend more to Leap and bound. You have the handful that are capable of utilising both Styles simultaneously but they are a rare breed (interestingly Zappo’s Tony is one).
Those who find a fit with Holacracy tend to be those that are Transformative Leaders, where as the likes of Medium, Blinkist and I suspect yourself are Visionary Leaders. They are both needed, equally important but are suited for different environments, so it is the important to understand the nature of the organization and let that inform your leadership.
I hope this give a sense of direction and clarity.