I have come across a lot of valuable people in my life, whether I was living in NJ, Baltimore, Miami, or Los Vegas (back and forth from LA to Vegas) I think that I met some cool people I would consider my friend outside of the business environment.
Going back home and just resetting myself to get more in tuned with my needs and happiness, I started to ask and write down questions that I needed answers to before I go venture off into the world again. There was one question, the last question, that needed to be answered while I go off into the world; as I scroll through my contacts on my phone and I seen that I had over 300 people’s names and numbers just sitting in my personal phone — I thought this was ridiculous. And to look through my call log, there were the same numbers — incoming and outgoing consistently. Every now and then I’ll get a couple of people that will reach out to me quarterly to see if I am alive and how my well-being is but the 95% of the other contacts — they were just sitting in my phone, unless an event was happening. I’m 28 years old, with a VERY limited number of friends and I am def okay with that; I have filtered the ones I don’t think is beneficial to my life and I’m not apologizing for the ones I just abruptly stop talking to — we’re all adults here, no hard feelings but I have a relentless drive to get to my goals and I don’t want ANYONE OR THING interrupting my drive with craziness.
So you know what I decided to do?! I decided to factory reset my phone — this wipes out all of the things on your phone and when its done resetting, its like the new phone you get when you first get out the phone box. I inputted the numbers that is necessary for me: Mom, Dad, close cousin etc and then with my business numbers, I stored my clients, designers, PR and anyone in that industry under those numbers. And then…… I created the #NoContactChallenge for myself to do for a month. I wanted to see if those people I was calling, reaching out, going out to dinner with their family, would initiate the phone call to me — I understand we all have lives, dreams, evolving families and bills but in a relationship, whether its an intimate, business, friendship relationship it takes two people to maintain that relationship not just one. I feel like I am getting to the point in my life where, I am taking a lot things more serious yet precious and testing out who really does appreciate my friendship, and if not a friendship then its a platonic business-ship. Simple as that!
These are the four things I look for, on whether its a friendship or not a business-ship. If you believe in zodiac signs, I am your quintessential Taurus Woman — a straight shooter that hates when you beat around the bush; I love consistency, reassurances and practicality.
How do you know its a friendship (not a business-ship):
- Every time you meet up, its ALWAYS a “happy/excited to see you” moment the entire time you spend with them. This feeling should never die out; Yes we are getting older and time is not spent like we did when we were 21 but I personally think the spaced out time together has a greater impacted for me. But seeing my friends should be an exciting experience not business experience.
- They check on your well-being no matter what time of day it is, how spaced out it is etc. THEY CHECK UP ON YOU to make sure everything is intact with you. I don’t know how you consider your friends, but my friends are like my family — since I am not very close with my extended family. I don’t care if they are in the wrong with something, I will go above and beyond for my friends or a loved one.
- Vulnerable — something I was not always good at, but I’ve gotten a lot better as I got to know myself and understand who I was. but being very open and sharing things that everyone or any ol’ body doesn’t know.
- Friendships — anything can go, left, right, horizontal, upside down where ever. There are NO LIMITS or BOUNDARIES. If this was a business-ship — we would have to follow the guide lines of the mission which can get boring. Thank goodness for friendships !
During my #NoContactChallenge, some of the contacts in my phone viewed my profile on social media and my new website and saw some things have changed (my number was now the business number) and they contacted me in regards of some business ventures. That right there, let me know that, THIS WAS ALWAYS A BUSINESS -SHIP. I’m a becoming entrepreneur, I need to get use this and understand the difference between friendship and business-ships during my early phase because it may get very hectic. And I am glad, I’ve done this journey at this moment in my life.
As for now, I hope I inspire someone to try this — especially if you’re interested in becoming an entrepreneur or if just want to try it just to be trying it GREAT. I know now who appreciates me for me and my talent for my talent.
**** SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL THE AMAZING PEOPLE THAT HAS COME INTO MY LIFE. WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO DO SOMETHING OR THINK A CERTAIN WAY AND I WON’T TAKE OUR MOMENT BACK FOR NOTHING. THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH ME, YOU ARE GREATLY REMINDED BY ME OFTEN — THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME****
My Definition of Friendship: a mutual understanding, connection and vibe between two individuals. Stays connected in all forms of communication — texting, email, video chat, phone and in-person monthly, quarterly or every two weeks.
My Definition of Business-ship: strictly connected to the mutual project that brought you two together. No clear understanding of each other personally only professionally. Only keeps in touch when project is scheduled.