How to Have a Zen Moment

From a guy who is completely unqualified to teach you

I know, I know.

You’re probably sick of all these “How-to” articles, especially the hippy-dippy ones that assume they can offer you a method of overcoming your feelings of existential dread, but I think I might be onto something if you have a minute.

I have no background in mindfulness practices. There’s no certificate on my wall and I don’t have a flowery, minimalist website for you to visit, but I do have a bit of first-hand experience with this stuff. Every morning as I’m sipping my coffee, I have this little moment of peace. It probably only lasts a few seconds, but it’s there. I know it’s there because I’m acutely aware of its inevitable disappearance, when all of my feelings of self-doubt come creeping into my consciousness. These usually take on the form of unhappy memories. I’m a recovering alcoholic, so I have plenty of those.

Anyway, I try not to let these memories define me. Instead, I focus on what I need to accomplish that day. I think most people do this, and when we do it we usually do it by worrying. It is quite amazing how much time we spend worrying, especially since worrying accomplishes almost nothing. It’s like a knee-jerk reaction to real world problems, and the more we do it, the more we are likely to keep doing it.

Worrying is associated with fear, and overcoming fear is what we are really talking about when we talk about having a zen moment.

So how do we do it?

First off, you don’t have to put on a bathrobe, sit on your rug, and cross your legs into uncomfortable angles, but if you want to, go ahead. It’s probably a good idea to turn off all your electronics, though. If you’re focusing on who’s killing who in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you aren’t really focusing on the moment, are you?

So just stand in your room and stare at the wall for a minute. Next, contemplate the rhythm of your breathing. Listen to it. In and out. In and out. This is something we don’t normally do because we take our breathing for granted (unless we’re drowning). The simple act of changing your regular behavior is a step in the right direction, especially if you are a chronic worrier. If you don’t like listening to the meaty, and perhaps moist sound of your lungs expanding and retracting, try turning on a fan or an air conditioner and listening to that.

Once you are focused on the sound, take a moment to realize that you are focused on something other than yourself.

Think of all the things that you are not thinking about, but don’t think about them, because that would ruin the moment.

Congratulations! You’ve had a Zen moment. But guess what?

It’s gone. You can continue worrying again.

Try again later, maybe.

If none of this works for you, I have one other suggestion:

At any given time, there are up to 40 different flavors of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream on the market! Pick your favorite and eat until your worries go away.

Good luck out there.