I Thought I Might Lose Her

The moments after my son’s birth were some of the most joyful I will ever experience. Leading up to the birth, all the tests and checkups leading up to the birth told us that he would be healthy, but like most parents, there is a small fear in my mind that something would go wrong.

See, in the womb, Parker had a weak umbilical cord connection to the uterus, so the doctor told us that we had to have an induced labor. But after 3 days in the laboring room, and no baby, it was time for a cesarian birth. The doctors explained the risks to us and we listened, and then went into the operation room.

From the surgery room that the cesarian operation was being performed, I was nervously holding Jenn’s hand. A curtain was up and we could only hear the doctors as they asked for certain tools.

Then the doctor said “Ok, you’re going to feel a little pressure…” and then I could feel the baby being pulled out — just by holding Jenn’s hand.

Then out came Parker from behind the curtain!

They weighed him, I cut his cord, and brought him to Mommy. Jenn held him for a minute as the doctors were still dealing with the incision in her stomach.

Then, they rushed me off to another room with Parker and told me Jenn would join us as soon as they patched her up. So, Parker got his little bracelet, a diaper, and a shot. Then I was able to hold him, all swaddled up.

I was expecting Jenn to be wheeled in by the time all this had been done.

But then another 10 minutes pass

Then 20 minutes

Then 30 minutes

Then 40 minutes

It felt so long and every minute that went by, brought my worst fears in. Why was it taking so long to sew her back up? Is everything ok? Dear God don’t let her die…

There’s no scenario where I had imagined losing my wife during pregnancy, and I was really sinking into that fear.

Finally a nurse came in and told me she had lost a lot of blood (3.1 liters) and they were having trouble stopping the bleeding.

“Is she going to be ok?” I asked desperately.

My heart was racing as I waited for her response. She told me Jenn would be in with us in a few minutes.

“Oh thank God!” I whispered to Parker.

Then, she was wheeled in on the hospital bed. She was a yellowish pale color. She was shivering and they started putting warm blankets on her. Her eyes were unfocused.

They pumped blood back into her, and she regained her color. I told her she was going to be ok, and she went on to feed Parker and things were looking like they would be back to normal.

3 days later we were discharged from the hospital. We had been in there for a total of 6 days, and were ready to get home.

But 2 days later Jenn wasn’t feeling right. So I took her to the emergency room while my parents watched Parker.

She had what is called ‘post partum pre eclampsia,’ which if untreated can lead to extremely high blood pressure, seizures, and possible death. So they needed to admit her right away. I was torn, because I wanted to stay with her, but needed to be back with Parker to feed him during the night. So I went back home and fed him every 3 hours that night.

The next morning, I packed Parker up, and drove back to the hospital. As soon as I walked through the door and saw Jenn, my emotions took over. The thought of losing her had passed and I started crying uncontrollably and hugged her. I was so relieved that she had gotten better. She held Parker, and I felt relief that we were all going to be ok.

It has been 2 weeks since we have been home, and everyone is well. I wanted to share this story, because nothing should be taken for granted, and there is so much that goes into having a child. If I were to lose my spouse, my life would have been turned upside down.