I was listening to a podcast this week with an interview of Simon Sinek. He was talking about his new book, Find Your Why. The book is about finding the root of why we do what we do. As he was talking about, he brought up a small point about asking good friends a simple question.
Why are we friends?
It made me think about one of my best friends, Victor. So I asked myself, ‘why are me and Victor such good friends?’
But first, I want to talk about what we feel when we are among friends. I have a good group of friends, and we have all known each other for 20+ years. There is this anticipation leading up to a get together for a BBQ is that of pressure free joy. When we are all together, we laugh the most, have excitement to hear and share stories, and feel no pressure or anxiety. All of my closest friends share stories and ask questions equally. None of it is lopsided. There is a legitimate amount of caring and sharing.
So me and Victor have been friends a long time. So he knows me well. He knows my habits, my character, my strengths and weaknesses. He has seen me struggle and succeed in life.
After I got divorced, I was in a low place in life. Victor needed a place to live, so I drove over to where he was living, packed all of his belongings into my Volvo (a few things didn’t fit and got left behind) and he moved into my spare bedroom.
We had a lot of fun there. Threw some parties, played lots of video games, and lived a bachelor life. But real life is about connecting. The most memorable times I remember there is sitting in the back yard around the fire pit. Sharing stories about pain and struggle. Victor is a good listener, and able to tell me that life would get better. He didn’t let me indulge I self loathing.
It’s a difficult thing sharing hardships. But its even a better thing getting over them with a best friend at your side.
So why are we friends? The reason that Sinek asks this questions to his friends is to find out more about himself and his qualities that are best within us. Our friends, when asked this question, will give us the answers of what we are made of. So I am excited to have this conversation with Victor tonight as he comes in to town.
Follow up conversation/article to come.