Perhaps I’m Mildly Moody because whenever I’m nice, people always take advantage of me. Somehow, as if my schedule isn’t already busy enough, I always find myself helping others. Hoping all my readers can learn from my mistakes, I’m begging you all to stop being so nice! Now before you say it, I totally understand that being a business woman is hard! You can’t be a total bitch because no one will want to hire you, or pay for your services, but you simply can’t be too nice either!
Before reading on, ask yourself these three questions:
- Are you helping others for free?
- Do you forget to tell people no?
- Do you feel like people expect too much of you?
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, YOU ARE SIMPLY BEING TOO NICE!!
Let’s dissect these questions shall we?
Number One: Stop working for free! If you are as badass as I think you are, and you really want to make a good living, you can’t give away your time. Basically you are telling people your services are not worth their money, and your giving them permission to walk all over you. Do you want to be a professional doormat? I didn’t think so! Trust me when I say that there are no exceptions to this, it will always happen. Once you have given something away for free, people will expect it again and again. Maybe not right away, but when money’s tight, or they would rather spend their money on something else, they will feel no shame in asking for a favor, or asking to pay you later because YOU (yes YOU) allowed them to do it before. Why do people think this is ok? It’s not like you can go into the grocery store and expect to take home food without paying for it … Geez people! Time is the most valuable thing you have, and if you are just giving it away, what respect do you have for yourself? Even more so, how can you expect to give your time to people who actually deserve it like your friends and family. I’ve always been busy, since I was a little girl, and I often lose friends because they think I am too busy for them. I never get invited anywhere, and they never ask me for help, simply because they think I won’t have time. This is a horrible feeling, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Still not convinced? If you’re working for free, you won’t do your best work! How are you supposed to become a reputable “IT” girl in the business world if you’re producing crap!
Number Two: Do you know how to say no? This is such a valuable business tool, and you need to learn it now! Repeat after me: “It’s okay to say no.” More importantly, it’s okay to learn how to say no without explaining yourself. I get it, it’s hard, it’s taken me 13 years to learn how to say it, but take it from me, it feels great, and for all you worriers out there, people still like me! In fact … They are very understanding. So are your ready to give it a try? Keep it simple! No one cares how busy you are or what drama you have, so stop giving excuses as to why the answer is no, just say it! Keep it clear! Don’t be vague, they won’t understand. You think you said no, but they think you said maybe later, or that they still have a chance. And lastly, stick to your word. Whatever you do, no mater what they say, NO IS NO! Like I said earlier, once you make an exception, no one will ever take you seriously again!
Number Three: You, and only you, can set the tone for what others expect from you. If you (ahem) give your time away, or never learn how to say no, you will give your clients the wrong impression. People will only expect of you, what you are willing to give. Want my advice? Give good service and give good quality work, but that’s it and no more! Want the cold hard truth? The next time someone expects too much of you, ask yourself what you did to allow them to think this way, and don’t do it again.
So are you ready to be Mildly Moody? Give it a try and let me know how it feels. You are way to special to be someone’s personal assistant when what you really want is to be a C.E.O!
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