Hey; so sorry about your predicament and I hope you decide to find a way to exist with or without booze.
But it is good to know why you started drinking. You had no parental guidance leading you on a nonstop chase to find another. You say your mother left for 14 hour work shifts, leaving you at home to..well, take care of yourself. At 14. So one goes looking for another mother or/and a substitute figure. Yes, that’s what we do; it’s called consolatory surrogacy ( I just made that up!).
I used to go to nightclubs at age 14, buying scotch at the bar. I loved going out but always, in the back of my mind was ‘I want my mum’. It is sad, lonely and depressing.
And then we decide to open that first bottle one night when we are alone, lonely and without comfort or supervision. And so it goes.
The good news is you can turn it around and overcome these horrid, familiar bad parenting lost child emotions that have burdened you since day one. Yes, you’re still young but just hearing that you have already damaged your liver is a terrible risk.
I’m not going to preach baby; all the doing has to come from your own self and self worth. It can be a hideous journey; one day quitting, next on the bottle.
All my good thoughts with you girl.☺
