How to Live Through 2022
Is anyone else tired? Like, really freaking tired?
We’re officially more than halfway through 2022 — two and a half years into a pandemic that just won’t quit, and eight months into so much chaos even NASA confirmed that “something weird is going on with our universe.”
There’s the war between Russia and Ukraine, a mental health crisis here in the U.S., talk of a recession, high gas prices, unrelenting political and social unrest, the questioning of previously settled civil rights and liberties, over 300+ mass shootings this year alone, and life just feels overwhelmingly… overwhelming.
Don’t you want to let loose and scream?
2022 has been brimming with so many potentially traumatic events that it feels impossible not to let them amplify the smaller, day-to-day concerns we’re all dealing with.
Life can seem like a constant hustle of trying to get ahead and a merry go-round of everyday tasks. Working 40+ hours a week while caring for your family and yourself is already sufficiently stressful. Add in paying bills, grocery shopping, exercising, sleeping, cooking, cleaning your home… how are we supposed to find time to just be ourselves, briefly forget about the current state of the world, and do what we want instead of what we need?
It’s easy to focus on everything that’s wrong or challenging and retreat into a spiral of dark despair and gloomy anguish. Though finding legitimate hope can be difficult, it’s infinitely more rewarding, and a core tenet of coping with trauma.
Let’s Talk About Trauma- Because We’re Living Through it
#Trauma has over 6 billion views on Tik-Tok alone, an alarming indicator of the pervasiveness of trauma throughout the world. We’re all familiar with the general concept, but we need a better understanding of trauma to properly cope.
One of the reasons people may have trouble managing the potentially traumatic events of the past year(s) is because of trauma’s overall vagueness.
Did you know that there is no standardized medical definition for trauma and it’s not an officially recognized mental illness? There are different degrees of trauma, and a situation that traumatizes me might not significantly affect you.
I was talking to my colleague Larry Berkowitz, Ed.D., and Director of the MindWise Trauma Center and he explained,
“Trauma occurs when we feel profoundly overwhelmed, helpless, and unsafe. It’s not an event that causes trauma; traumatization ensues (or doesn’t) based on how you react to the resulting stress. We are all unique individuals, raised among distinctive circumstances, with varying levels of risk tolerance.”
Additionally, trauma isn’t always visible to the naked eye, and often people aren’t consciously aware of the fact that they have been traumatized until days, weeks, or even years later.
Sometimes, we never fully realize our experience was traumatizing. But trauma can haunt us nevertheless. It’s possible the pandemic, social unrest, financial uncertainties, and other new stressors are affecting you more than you realize.
While trauma impacts everyone differently, common indications that painful specter is lurking within you include:
· Intense feelings of sadness, fear, and/or shame
· Nausea
· Nightmares/flashbacks
· Difficulty sleeping
· Headaches
· Being in a constant state of hyper-vigilance
· Avoiding reminders of a painful event
It’s imperative to recognize the frustration or pain that you and so many others are experiencing is real and debilitating. Placing your emotions within the context of trauma can help you understand that how you feel is not your fault. What you’re feeling is a perfectly normal response to abnormal experiences. And I think we can all agree that the past few years have felt pretty abnormal.
Four Ways to Make it Through 2022 With Your Sanity Intact
Amid the traumageddon we’re experiencing, how can we recoup some of our waning sanity? Three magic words — safety, predictability, and control (SPC).
We’ve all read articles that recommend going for a walk, eating a vegetable, and getting more sleep to increase feelings of tranquility and control. And while those are helpful suggestions, sometimes they’re not enough. Furthermore, activities that leave certain people feeling zen don’t necessarily work for others.
The goal of the SPC framework is to find actions that restore feelings of safety, provide predictability during volatile times, and help you control circumstances within your power.
So, let’s talk about how to find strategies to help get us through this dumpster fire of a year.
#1 Find Something That Makes You Happy (Even if it Seems Minor) — For example, I love Vitamin Water. No matter how tough my day is, an ice-cold lemonade-flavored Vitamin Water always makes me feel just a little better.
Whether it’s binging a TV show, reading, enjoying your nightly skincare routine, catching the latest episode of your favorite podcast, playing video games, or something else entirely — make time for the things you look forward to. You’ll be happier and the rest of your life will still be waiting for you when you’re done.
#2 Plan Something, Anything — When the world seems to be crumbling around you, it’s especially helpful to focus on what you can control.
Plan your grocery list or schedule your meals for the week. Organize your to-do list for tomorrow. Even spending just a few minutes laying out your clothes for the next day can decrease your stress. The goal is to reduce the number of decisions you need to make that day or in a future moment — giving yourself something to rely on when you need just an ounce more stability.
#3 Reduce Sources of Toxic Stress — Letting go of people, behaviors, or tasks that cause you needless stress isn’t always an option, but when the opportunity arises it can be a vital way to increase safety, predictability, and control. Maybe don’t call that “friend” who makes you feel worse about yourself. Go ahead and mute text notifications from media outlets, ignore the news if it’s stressing you out, or say no to those plans you aren’t up for.
#4 Treat yo Self — While the TV show Parks and Recreation made this concept famous years ago, it certainly feels more relevant than ever.
I’m not suggesting you spend thousands of dollars on grandiose luxuries — just saying that treats can be even the smallest of pleasures. Sometimes you’re having a tough day, and need to do something a little different to get through it. When I asked my team how they treat themselves they replied with the following suggestions:
“Sometimes I tell my husband that I’m treating myself to 15 minutes outside alone on our porch — no kids, no dog, nothing but quiet. And later, we’ll switch places so he can do the same.”
“If I’m feeling anxious about a doctor’s appointment, I’ll treat myself to a fancy coffee afterwards.”
“When I’m stressed about an upcoming situation, I try to give myself something to look forward to after it’s done — a new bottle of body wash or time to sit on the couch with coffee and a muffin.”
Let’s End 2022 on a High Note- Reclaim Control and Find Some Legit Hope
Not to beat this drum too hard, but since 2022 has been overflowing with potentially traumatic events and the previous two years weren’t exactly cakewalks either — it’s important to stay hopeful.
Not naively optimistic or irrationally cheerful.
But hopeful.
Because while hopefulness doesn’t negate trauma, it’s an essential tool for managing it.
Now, it’s important to note that hope isn’t just an abstract concept built on blind faith.
Hope is resources and strategies that can improve your day-to-day. Hope is a support system you can count on when times are tough.
But hope can also be mischievous. It’s hard to find and even more difficult to maintain. That rascal has been known to disappear when you need him most.
Faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles (also known as modern society), we need to summon the strength to take agency and find sources of hope instead of passively wishing for a better future.
While hope is the inspiration we need to keep moving forward, the SPC framework outlines how to take tangible, real-life steps toward getting you through the day and improving this wild, wild west of a year.
From the Experts: Essential Takeaways
· Treat yourself as kindly as you would your best friend. Self-compassion through trauma and adversity is linked to more stable resilience and is a predictor of well-being.
· Social support is one of the most vital protective factors against trauma. Spending time with family, friends, or a religious community brings comfort and connection.
· Self-care is indispensable when recovering from trauma. Experts recommend utilizing the “3R’s” of reflection, regulation, and relaxation to recharge your emotional batteries.
· If you are having trouble integrating trauma management strategies into your life, try tying a new tactic to an already existing habit.
· Sometimes, trauma is too difficult to manage by yourself. If you’re truly struggling contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or a trained mental health professional.
