Why I waited for my young love to mature
I’ve always watched movies and read stories and heard people talking about their “first love”. I always thought to myself, “Well if something is so special, why did it have to be over? Shouldn’t your first love be your only love?” It always was a troubling thought to me watching a character fall in love with someone new or listening to my mother who’s been divorced explain how her first love went, with whom was not my father. I never even understood what love was, I could never relate to that feeling people always talked about. What was love? Was it just really really liking someone? Was it thinking their cute? Was it love if my hands got sweaty holding theirs? Fourteen year old me always tried to figure out what that feeling was and why everyone was so fond of it.
When I turned eighteen I graduated from high school, moved into my very first house without my parents (scary I know) and so I thought was entering “The real world”. Everything was changing right before my eyes in such a short amount of time and it was so exciting and different and unfamiliar to me. With all the change that happened that summer still nothing could compare to when I met someone who changed my life forever. People fight saying love at first sight is real while others say it is not. I cant tell you it was love that I felt when I fist met my boyfriend, but it sure was something that convinced me my life would never be the same. Four years later and I sit here and struggle to remember what I thought about before he walked into my life and I struggle to remember the life I had without him.
Young love is well, young. It isn’t matured, it is not nourished and boy does it need growth. People always talk about their first love being a learning lesson and I couldn’t tell you anything I agree more with. Then people proceed to explain how it helped them with their next relationship and it made the next one that much better than the last. That, I cannot relate to. My first love taught me a million learning lessons. It taught me to be patient, it taught me to be kind, it taught me to be selfless, it taught me to pick my battles, amongst many many many other things. That is why my first love is and will be my only love. I had faith in not only the relationship I was in but the person I was in love with. We were young and we were stupid and we both made mistakes neither of us would ever be proud to admit but that’s life and the only way you can move forward with your future is to forgive your past.
I always knew the potential he had and I knew one day I was going to get it. I knew the potential our relationship had and I knew that I would spend everyday of my life working on it to finally get there. I used to think growing up being in love with someone is just something that comes naturally and it involves no effort and my god was that the biggest misconceived thought i’ve ever had. A relationship takes work, it takes two people putting in the same amount of effort wanting the same thing just as much. It is something you work on every single day, and why? For the little fourteen year olds that may be reading this, well because, it’s worth it. True love is worth the fight and if you’re not willing to fight for something then it is not true love. There’s been times when there has been nothing left but for me to just want to throw in the towel. Things get hard because nothing in life is ever going to come easy. But as James 1:2–3 entails “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” Nothing else holds to be more true. We’ve tackled everything we can together and at this point we both know that whatever life throws our way we will be able to get through it because we were able to grow together as not only individuals but as a couple.
I waited for my young love to grow because I knew from day one that, that love was the only love I ever wanted for the rest of my life. I knew nothing would ever be able to compare to the feeling I have when I am with him. He has always been my home and I knew there was no way I would ever be able to find a home within another person or place the way I find it in him. My once malnourished love is now nourished and healthy and at the place I knew in my heart it could get to. It just need a little time, it just needed a little patience.