Hi Laura, I’m entirely late to this conversation so I admit this may have already been touched on. I followed your conversation with Tyler and have to say it’s so sane compared to your original post. Almost like you’re another person entirely. You’ve explained the style of writing and I fully accept it. It’s not a bother at all. I fully support the greater point you are trying to make. But can I suggest that you let a bit of this persona show through for your users. The kind, listening side, willing to discuss without agreession show through.
Now, not because of any man or to make them feel better or uncomfortable but because of other women. Women who listen to you who you may inadvertently be mentoring. For those who scream hell yeah after your literary beat down of “men” but who won’t dig a little deeper to see this other you and who would go off taking on this other persona without understanding the balance that you have probably had to work on to achieve.
You complain about the women who beat down every discuss on Twitter but do you think that this dichotomy in personas may be the foundation of that behavior. They know the aggressive you from you medium article but do they know the gentle, listening, kinder you you’ve displayed in this one thread with Tyler. Would it change the overall environment around discussing women’s issues if the men you are trying to talk to knew that Laura could be a badass when she’s writing about well placed greviances but she can also be a listening if people engaged her in a respectful manner.
Far be it from me to ask you to change how you write. I like reading stuff that makes me uncomfortable and inspires me to think and stop to comment in the middle of my work day. But please let that balance show through once in a while. Your anger is not misplaced and please continue to show it till you see change. It’s just refreshing to know that beyond the woe and anger that their are women that we can talk to & discuss with beneath it all. You are a breath of fresh air.
While you want “the men” to be uncomfortable you want “the discussions” that must ensue to be easier. Easier to solve the deeper problems of toxic masculinity and its expectation, easier for the men who can be changed to say “I was wrong”, easier for men to say we agree with you and we’ll do something about this”.