John DeVore

Oh can the virtue signaling just stup!

I’m sure you feel better about yourself but that’s the only thing that has changed after this. The first flaw in your post is assuming that there is one singular experience of manliness that men agree on at a meeting and if you can just talk down snarkily at us as we gather in the locker room, we’d just get it. Its easy to shout and sneer in a medium post to some unknown random set of men you don’t know, about something as complex and invisible as manliness and win a few white-knighting badges than get specific about the real issues holding women back and pressuring men into the roles they currently feel they need to occupy.

For sure you’ve touched on all the trending buzzwords of the season “rape culture” “mansplaining” “listening” “believing them 100%” but in all this you’ve successfully thrown in so much ambiguity that you’ve said nothing more than I could read or hear in a self help, positive thinking book or radio show. Your most salient point was for us to do good to everyone but you then go on to genderize it (suggesting women need some sort of specialized good done only for them) stereotyping women further in your eager bid to help.

Finally can we just have men stop talking about this. Real women don’t need your virtue signaling because they already know men in their lives who are good to them and they have enough agency to know not all men are the same. Equality of opportunity means stepping out the way so women get their fair shot not attempting to get a word in so we notice you were there to shut them naughty men up (as if you could). As others have said, ending by saying men need to “man up” only shows how very little of the real problems you know about which is why people like you need not be writing long articles about this. Men have been manning up for so long that it’s probably why we don’t know how to do or be anything else but hard, horny, competitive, aggressive and suicidal. And women on their part, can’t escape their part as girlfriends, wives and mothers in creating and maintaining the definitions of manliness seemingly so abhorred today. Women don’t need labels like male allys. Quite simply there are no other beings they share the planet with. It’s men or nothing (hmm, maybe dogs — although the “men are dogs” mantra may suggest they aren’t that trusted either — or feminist aliens from Pluto) . If we fix the real issues of equity plaguing both men and women it works for everyone not just women.