What this discussion entails which isn’t spoken of enough is that the Empathy you seek of me requires me to use my privilege. If im going to convince other men to think twice about their ways I have to use my privilege. If I’m going to aggressively stop someone being mean or sexist to you I’m going to have to use my privilege. My wife and child at home expect me to use that privilege to win as much bread as possible as the husband because we need it to maintain our lifestyle and pay the bills.

My privilege isn’t the problem. The women in my life need it as much as I do. The point here is you cant have real equality and empathy at the same time. Those 2 concepts don’t mix well. You can either fight equality in which case it’s a dog fight and you don’t expect anyone to help you out or you can ask for empathy understanding that the person who has to help you has an advantage you don’t have that you in turn can take advantage of.

It’s the double standard entailed in both asking me to check my privilege and at the same time empathize with you and do something about the other (few) men who are sexist to you, that rubs most men the wrong way.

So lets agree on somethings. You need my help or at the least my empathy. Women need to agree you can’t win this battle on your own. You need me to be a good man and use my privilege for a greater good. Take note that this will also mean you agree that I have an unassailable advantage in this one area. Are you women willing to agree to that. Can you handle the truth that some inequality between men and women must remain for you to achieve your aims. Else we leave you to it to battle the (few) sexist men and see if you can change them by education (this will require you to understand that the way you teach a life lesson to a male may be different to how you teach it to a female) while I grab some popcorn…you know since we are all equal n all.