Nobody told me the journey would be this long and hard. Nowadays I don’t sleep for more than 5 hours every night because I’m chasing assignment deadlines at the same time I’m trying to keep every single one of my boats floating. Nevertheless, sleep deprivation isn’t the hard part. As a matter of fact it’s easy for people my age addicted to their screens to keep their eyes open until the birds start singing.
Instead of staying up late watching YouTube videos and catching up on an entire season of Luke Cage, I work. I study. I take tests. Learn new courses on the side online. There’s no time for pleasure anymore!
Still. There’s a whole lot of things I can live without. For the past 5 years I’ve wasted my life dwelling on self pity, doubt and insecurity — I gained nothing. Complaining got me nowhere. It’s only when I welcomed this year that I decided to take charge.
Quit doing things which aren’t good for me; let go of all the beliefs which keep me from growing. In a way 2016 was a declaration year for me.
From climbing on stage by accident and slaying it without preparation, finishing a book which is very close to my heart, going into music professionally only to be forced to quit at the risk of finding another place to live, switching courses, to finally allowing myself to love and receive love.
Last year ended and 2017’s is new.
The world’s going to be up in arms obsessing over resolutions, healthy eating and goal setting blah blah blah… Anybody that is serious and committed enough about their dreams or pursuits sets: yearly, monthly, weekly and daily goals. Not just new years resolutions!
At the end of the day it all rests on your hunger. How much do you want it?
Well… I want it bad enough that I’m willing to lose just about everything. Moreover, I want to give it my everything because the one feeling I hate more than anything is regret. Call it making up for lost time, or just plain impracticality. If I take big calculated risks, not gambles, honestly I don’t see why it won’t work out.
I live on faith, therefore I’ll be good.
To think that I used to have dreams of being a child star thinking all I’d do is jump on stage, dazel the crowds, be happy and have zero worries…
Growing up surely complicates things. Before signing a contract you read the fine print. No one wants to be sued!
The truth about being an underground artist
You spend more money fighting for your dream, keeping things alive, than you actually make performing gigs. Moreover, most of the time your budget’s running on a deficit, you’re finances are stressing you out to the point that you consider taking a break or giving up on being a musician permanently.
We all have a plan B.
A practical plan drawn by everyone around us who warned us not to go into the music industry but because of our stubbornness — we refused to listen.
Music is more than just a talent, but a calling
Ultimately, music’s who I am 24/7, 365 and my whole life. Even during professional tests, which have absolutely nothing to do with art, I find myself humming or composing new songs in my head. I cannot turn it off, even if I tried!
Call it an addiction or obsession… Maybe we ‘artists’ are a crazy bunch as we can’t kill these voices and sounds in our minds. Sometimes I dream about lyrics to a new song.
There’s no way I’m throwing my dream away. Yes, I may be a little grown to be a child star, however the dream’s still the same. If I need to I work extra hard in order to fund the music, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.