Don’t Forget to Love Yourself First

by Juan Antonio

Smart, funny and did things her way. Gotta love it.

Valentine’s Day just happened this past weekend. Every year on this 14th day of February, for some odd reason, we have two categories of people set on pitting themselves against each other: The Couples vs. The Singles.

Some of those in The Couples category are flagrantly broadcasting the gifts of their romantic relationships all over social media. Is all that really necessary? We’re not in your one-on-one monogamous relationship, so why would we care that much?

If you need Valentine’s Day to show your loved one you love them, then you’re doing it all wrong.

On the other end of the spectrum, some of those in The Singles category are flat out protesting this godforsaken day; calling it nothing more a “Hallmark holiday” that exploits the wallets of all those suckers in relationships. They proactively boycott red, flowers or anything warm and fuzzy.

You may not be into Valentine’s Day, but you definitely don’t have to hate on people celebrating the day. If someone wants to spend $113 on someone, god bless em — it’s their money, they are free to do as they please with it.

Here’s the thing, everybody wants love. Period.

Guy, girl, young, old, black, white, single, not single — people from all walks of life want to experience love. Everyone may not always be able to express that desire straightforwardly, but the core remains the same: humans need some form of love.

The good-bad problem is, technology has changed the game of love.

In today’s busy world, it’s not just people and things vying for our attention anymore. It’s virtual people on computerized screens. And make no mistake, these virtual people have taken a significant lead.

We’ve traded good old fashioned let’s meet-in-a-diner-and-chat-away-for-hours-on-end-talking-about-nothing-specific for three pixel by three pixel hearts, 140 character celebrity text messages and “thumbs-up likes.” Even worse, most people would prefer to pen-pal with each other back and forth instead of picking up a phone. 
How did words on screens and miniature symbols become more important than human voice, human faces and human touch?

But I do know this: with so many people and things vying for our attention from all angles, it’s so easy to forget that you don’t find love, it finds you. It finds you because it starts with you.

In order to get love, you must first love yourself. And that’s going to take a journey understanding exactly what love means to you and why.

I know the media, shows, movies, magazines, the Internet, and other people want to tell you how to love or be loved, but don’t forget that you live inside your body, heart and mind 24/7.

Who do you think knows you better — someone you’ve never had a meaningful conversation with, some random person off Tinder, some random hater/troll off the Internet, or you?

Know this: no one knows you better than you know yourself.

If you haven’t taken the time to find out who you are, what you like, love and don’t like and love, what are you waiting for?

Take the time now. Take the time to get to know you. You owe it to yourself and your future significant others in life.

People will come and go in your life. Some, because of something you did or didn’t do. And some without any real rhyme or reason. That’s life.

Just remember, you’re in a relationship with you for as long as you live. Cherish and develop that relationship. All other relationships will only get easier from there. Good luck.

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About the author: Saul Juan Antonio Cuautle is a writer, entrepreneur and coach based out of Menlo Park, CA. He’s the Founder & CEO of Minds of Steel — a tech startup building fitness coaching software that helps you“Discover Your Inner Superhero.” He’s the author of A Superstar Love Story: Powering Through the Friend Zone.

Originally published at on February 17, 2016.