The Willingness To Do What It Takes … I’ll Be A Year Older Next Year Either Way … And Maybe A Year Better. Easy Choice, Right?
So I’m reading The Success Principles by Jack Canfield and I come to Success Principle #16: Be Willing To Pay The Price.
Immediately I reacted. My throat felt like a tight fist is wrapped around it. I had a sudden “exit stage left” urge to get the heck out of Dodge, close the book, pick up a new book and create a litany of excuses as to why I don’t have time for this book now. Adrenalin was flying through my body like a hawk going after a mouse. You know that feeling? I am not a fan. I think my hair actually stood up. That seemed a bit extreme to me.
So I take some time to tap on that reaction, to breathe. Then I get curious. Interesting reaction. What’s that about?
I asked myself, “What specifically am I making ‘Pay The Price’ mean in this moment?” I’m wondering what virtual reality did I just stir up, drench in noxious kerosene, and light like some massive beach bonfire?
Well, clearly, somewhere in my unconscious mind I have an internal representation of “doing whatever it takes” and it isn’t a good one. My mind has attached a meaning and it isn’t the meaning I want, as my body so vividly let me know.
Here’s a choice point. Give up now. Why bother. Thank you for reading. Procrastinate finishing that book forEVER … Or … wade through and keep on going? Am I stuck?
I’m going to choose to say no at this point. When I was a 2 year old I said no all the time, I was soooooo good at it. Probably you were too. That was a long time ago, and I’m dusting off the skill again.
The fact that I noticed the reaction means something. I noticed me having the feelings and then the thought “things are rough enough as it is, do I really want to give up everything and have nothing?”
And yes I really am having this conversation with myself. Anyone who says they don’t talk to themselves has to be lying.
Back to my self-pep-talk. Who said having the willingness to do what it takes actually means giving up everything? Where is the focus on what I am gaining? Why immediately go to lack, loss, doom, gloom? I am not a negative person but obviously I have some memories related to going for something and losing out on something else that I wanted as well.
The self Q&A offers up the memory that is related to this feeling. I have such obliging grey matter! I’m a teenager, I join the track team against parental wishes, my pet bird is taken away and given to my sister as punishment, bird so traumatized he pulled all his feathers out. Obviously I am traumatized too and formed the belief “things are rough enough as it is, do I really want to give up everything and have nothing?”
The past is over. Am I going to base moving forward in my life some 35 years later because of a mistake my parents made, doing the best they could, parenting? I don’t think so!
What is the difference between a thing being true and feeling true? It is clear this feeling feels true, and that is entirely separate from it being true. I’m not 13 anymore.
Our bodies react to thoughts and perceptions, which are all based on previous experience, as if they are happening now. Memories are essentially operating manuals for “how to react to this thing happening now.”
Once I found the related memory linked to this reaction, I started tapping. This is my form of memory management. With tapping (emotional acupressure) I set about changing how I perceive that memory until it is no longer relevant. Then I notice, my reaction to that chapter and “doing whatever it takes” doesn’t feel so daunting. In fact, I’ve shifted into a “I got this” attitude.
Can I set a goal and want it so much I am willing to stretch myself to attain it? Does that need to mean I have to suffer? Yes I can and no I do not need to suffer to do so.
I’m the controller of my experiences of life.
And I did finish reading The Success Principles as well. All 67 of them.