Stuck/Unstuck, the struggles of self-development
Am I going through a premature stage of mid-life crisis or have I become stuck in daily routines?
You and only you alone can change your situation, don’t blame it on anything or anyone.
Lately, I have been demoralized and demotivated by my current job/career as a civil engineer (on a construction site), the people frustrate me, the pay is poor, so many problems, in other words a “dead end job”.
But having said that I could not be more content with other aspects of my life, I have a great family, loving wife and an adorable two-year old daughter (oh and expecting our second child later this year!). We live in a big house which is unheard of in the concrete jungle Hong Kong. We get by handsomely and save like troopers on my single below average salary, we made small investments here and there, some are longer term but importantly we survive. So life couldn’t be any sweeter.
A good woman is an investment.
Then there is that other important matter in life, health.
Earlier this year I was complaining about pain and numbness in my right arm up to my shoulder and neck. Went to see a doctor,I rarely do, anxiously took many examinations, tests and x-rays as a precaution. Psychological or not, results showed nothing, no problem. It was probably stress from work, poor posture or lack of exercise and keeping fit. In the end, I am now committed to daily stretching and exercise and being more aware of keeping good posture. Also, just not stressing about work and not caring about all the people and the issues. That’s that one sorted.
How is any of that relevant to self development? In fact the three points above were indeed the three goals I set myself four and a half years ago.
- Find a suitable partner for a long term relationship and starting a family (seemed to have gone far beyond “finding”!).
- Restart my civil engineering career (i.e. get a stable job) as it was my degree and the only career I could fall back on after my unsuccessful business venture, more on that later.
- Improve my health and well-being. No point planning for a future if you can’t survive it.
I set these goals right after I failed in my first foray into business after quitting my civil engineering career at aged 26–27. I managed to bankrupt myself and acquire some debts, I was down and lost. I needed a fresh start, a new challenge, be grounded and to do the “normal” things the average human should do, get a stable job, marry, buy a house etc.
You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures.
In society terms I failed bad, I literally moved to another country and started over again or you could say I ran away.
Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.
Right now I am stuck, I am stuck because I achieved all three goals and with a little change to spare and thus my current circumstance. Over the last couple of months I have been searching not only outwardly but inside for what I need to do next or crucially what I want to do next. I took up learning to code, so far only HTML and CSS (that’s a start I guess), routinely reading up on how people become successful and pursue life dreams, all in search for my purpose, my self-development.
It’s never too late to finally start living the life that you really want.
I have absolutely no idea what I should do next, all I do know for sure is that I need to find new challenges, step up another level and learn new things without being bogged down by the daily grind, that “dead end job” and fight the fear of failure.
Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the same exact place next year as you are today.
That my dear is self-development, setting yourself obtainable goals, achieving them and pushing for the next challenge, only then can you grow and develop.
We don’t grow when things are easy; we grow when we face challenges.
That is my motto #GetFatorDieTrying; because I find it hard to put on weight all my life no matter how much I eat, I will relentlessly pursue and will do until it kills me!
What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
