The Last Dance

On that cool summer night, merely months ago, he had sat twiddling his thumbs in the dull waiting room, the one with the white walls and stacks of old magazines that made him feel nauseous.

How had he gotten there, again? He thought, how had everything changed so quickly, then he remembered, the events of that night hitting him like a train racing on, too fast to jump out of it’s path.

He had been driving himself and his fiancé home when they had been hit by a drunk driver. He suffered only a broken arm and a few stitches, but his fiancé, it had been her side that was hit. While he sat in that waiting room, unable to think of anything except what he could have done differently, for her sake.

It had felt like ages before anyone came in to tell him anything, though in reality it had only been a few hours. Through the rectangular block window on the light wood door he remebered seeing a shape, it had been the doctor, he had told him she should be okay after spending a few nights in the hospital, and that she had wanted to see him.

Reluctantly he had lifted himself out of the cheap hospital chair, and followed the doctor out of the chilly room that had become his safe haven, for her sake. He had followed the doctor down the long, cold and colorless maze of hallways until they reached the room.

She had looked so peaceful, he remembered, she was sleeping when he first enterd the room. He had walked up to the dreary hospital bed and touched her hair so softly, trying not to wake her. After a few minutes she had stirred, turning her head and opening her eyes. “Hey,” she whispered, a small smile spreading across her dry lips.

“Hi, how are you feeling,” was the first thing he had said to her. He felt like an idiot now, he had so many better things he should have said to her in that moment, I’m sorry, he thought would have been the right thing.

“I’m tired, and it hurts,” she had turned her head to look out the window to the faint grayness of the early morning skies.

“The doctor says you’ll be able to come home in a few days,” he had reached for her hand, feeling cold fingers. She had not said another word, just drifted off to sleep and he had stayed with her while she slept, holding her cold hands gently, for her sake.

It was three days, before he had been able to convince her to get out for a walk. He had taken her out to the hospital garden for a walk, it had been a beautiful day, full of sunshine, and warmth. They were sitting on a short stone bench, he had his arm around her shoulders, and she had rested her head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” he had hardly heard the words escape her lips, until she said, “please don’t ever forget that.”

“What are you talking like that for, the doctor said your going to be fine,” he had turned to face her, holding both her shoulders with his hands, looking at her pale face, framed by the bushes of white roses growing tall behind her. “You were so beautiful then…” he whispered to himself.

“But its been three days and I’m not feeling any better, any stronger, I’m still in so much pain that it takes all the effort I have to get up and walk just outside with you here to sit in the sun for a while,” tears had formed in the corners of her eyes, and he moved a hand to catch them.

“You’re going to be just fine,” he had gripped her shoulders again, trying to instill in her the strength he knew she had, “listen to me, I love you, I am going to be here for you no matter what happens, and we are going to get through this, together,” he looked in her hollow, once full of life and intense eyes, “and we are going to be married in the fall. Don’t you ever forget that.” His eyes had began to fill with water while he spoke, and he had tried his best to hold them back, for her sake.

A quiet, slow melody had begun to escape the speakers throughout the graded, “dance with me,” she had said to him, using the last of her strength to lift herself up, holding tightly to his hands. They swayed slowly back and forth, while he held her close in his chest, his arms wrapped around her frail body to steady her.

The song and the moment had seemed to last a lifetime, we could have stayed that way forever and everything would have been perfect, he thought. If that had been the case he wouldn’t be back there today, standing in the same garden, on a cool, misty fall day, looking in the windows at the dull, depressing waiting room. He laid a bouquet of fresh white roses on the short stone bench, looking at the bushes that had begun to loose their life with the cooler weather.

Why, he thought, why did you leave me here?

A breeze blew in and a quiet melody began to flow through the garden, he felt his throat clench up, this time he didn’t hold it back, for her sake. He sat next to the roses on the cool gray stone, and looked into the cloud covered sky, a salty tear running down his cheek. He reached to loosen the black tie around his neck, and unbuttoned the suit jacket he was wearing.

A moment later a streak of sunlight broke through the clouds cover and landed on the white roses next to him, he put his hand in the ray and felt the tiny warmth; he smiled.

He reflected on the life they’d had together before the accident. She’d never had a family until he came along. She was abandoned as a child, and he’d met her when she was just eighteen, he twenty. That was 4 years ago. She was working as a waitress, and he was an intern for a lawyers office just up the block. He was taking his lunch break alone when she poured his coffee, and they locked eyes. From that moment on both of their lives had never been the same.

“Someday I’m going to move on, you know”, he said into the ray, “only because I know thats what you would want for me.” The tears flowed down his face and he felt a breeze blow through his hair, and across his face. At the moment he couldn’t imagine finding anyone else to make him feel the way she had, but he knew someday he would, for her sake.

“I love you,” he whispered into the sliver of warmth on his hand.

He got up, leaving the white roses sitting on the cool stone bench, in the tiny streak of light; he walked the path of the withering garden and through the glass door into the dull hallways of the hospital. He stopped in the chapel and made sure a candle was lit in her honor, and then proceeded on, for his sake.