A Letter to my 2o Somethings…
It breaks my heart to write this letter.
I can feel your pain. I can feel it in the air. And I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for all the people who have never apologized, all the people who half-loved you, all the support you never got from the people you loved the most, I truly and sincerely apologize.
And it is important that we start, at least, there.
I know how hard you can be on yourself. You know. Feeling like you should be doing more, like you should have M O R E.
22 and still wanting to party but starting to feel out of place and having this nagging feeling that you’re not doing anything with your life.
26 and still struggling to find a job (or anything that you’re not overqualified for) after college.
29 and feeling the pressure to “settle down”. Because…you’re supposed to be married by the end of your 20s, right?
Hundreds, thousands of 20 somethings will read this letter.
Feeling alone, like they’re by themselves. And the search continues.
Passion, success, happiness.
Social media tainting images of a self you never really got to know. A desire to be loved, but traumatized by days long past that left behind their jagged scars. So many of my loves in pain.
Now, I know it’s going to be hard for you to read this…
But I’m asking you.
Sincerely.
Have compassion on yourself.
Listen, we grew up in a different time. So many generations before us have said that. But it’s different this time.
One minute, we are playing with plastic toys and flying kites. The next minute we have instant messenger and chat rooms. Then cell phones. We grew up during an era that changed the entire landscape of America.
And, I know, you thought you did everything right.

I know you went to college because you thought it was the right thing to do. Get a degree, get a good job, right? Nobody told you about the loans and the credit cards.
I know you don’t have any money and you sleep on your friend’s couch in between your car. Or even worse for your self esteem, at your parent’s house while they constantly interrogate you about a plan that, quite honestly, you don’t have.
I know you have no C L U E what a relationship is, how to do it, where to get one, and how to incorporate modern technology and social media into the equation. Marriage sounds like a stick-up at this point and you can’t even afford to think about a baby. That’s if you’re not already realizing exactly how much small humans can eat and clutching your wallet.
And it’s ok.
You have to understand…it’s ok.
Our 20s are wildly different from anything that has ever come before us. We’ve pioneered groundbreaking technology, fused pop culture and hip hop music, and reshaped a broken economy while reclaiming our voices as consumers. There is study after study after study about who we are, what we do, how we work, what we believe, even what we eat!
Our ideas have changed the way this society works. It was us.
There was no blueprint before us. No matter where you are in your journey, you must realize you are forging a path that no one before you ever knew. There is no one who thinks the way you do.
We are innovators. And it is necessary that you adjust your perspective to see.
I lay alone in a hammock one night. Crying underneath the stars.
My body shook while the emotions of every failure in my adult life washed over me. Failures I’d never even consciously considered failures suddenly crushed my body under its weight. I felt small as I fought to see, at least, the moonlight through my tears.
As I lay with no more strength to cry out, something occurred to me.
Life is a marathon.
I never understood that before that night. I thought it was about grinding hard, pushing it to the max, giving it your best effort with as little rest as possible. Because if you work hard now, it will happen.
And there is truth to that.
But it may not happen tomorrow. Or next month. Or in the next 3 years. And that’s ok.
I made the mistake of rushing towards my goals.
I felt like I needed to “have it together”.
A college degree, two books, two international television appearances, a music and art tour, and a nonprofit organization later, and it still felt…empty. When I started searching that void, I found a world that looked good to “them” but I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know what I needed to be happy. So I started searching. And this is what I found:
Life is…but a moment in eternity.
The state that we consider struggle is not temporary.
The trouble will always be. Even when we have our idea of perfect, it won’t be. And it is good to accept that. Because then you will understand that when you have made a choice to be better, to want more, it will require that you lose some things you love.
The lesson is purpose. It is not a struggle when you can see the purpose.

Struggle is the love of universe granting us another chance to learn, to progress in this lifetime.
And that takes time. You didn’t learn to love in a day. And you won’t become who you want to be in a day.
Patience.
You are not lost. You are discovering your own reality in a world that is no longer allowed to shape it for you.
Don’t let responsibility stop you from enjoying your 20s. Take control of the life you have and design the life you want.
- You have your entire life to work. Ask yourself. Do you want to live the rest of your life doing it this way?
- Yes, you all have been friends for a long time, but you are not responsible for anyone’s growth. In your 20s, you start to learn that people grow in different directions. And if you can N O T take that personally, you will attract those people who are adding value to the person you are growing into.
- YOU ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAPPINESS. Do you hear me? Your 20s are YOUR 20s. Do it how you want. You will never be this young again. You will never get these moments back. Do what it takes to find your passion, what excites you, what you stand for, and what you need, in your heart, to be truly happy.
We are the first generation who has an active choice in our lives. Explore yourself, explore the pain of your childhood. Take time to understand it. Each day is a chance to start again, reinvent yourself.
Don’t discourage yourself anymore. I know you’re afraid.
I am too.
We all are.
Acknowledge it and understand it is only your fear of your own potential. It is the fear of living the life you deserve.
Jump into the unknown and believe you will fly.

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