Abuse comes in many forms. For a long time I belittled my sexual abuse by telling myself that it wasn’t that bad, I did feel good from aspects of it but wished to have been left alone. Most of my life I have been confused by and generally denied my sexuality due to my abuse. Many years later I confronted my abuse and started therapy. Through therapy I discovered aspects that I had hidden from myself but also the subtle inadvertent verbal abuse from parents and siblings. Today I would be diagnosed on the mild end of the autism spectrum as I took things literally unless the meaning was explained to me among the other factors, back then there were something like 6 cases of autism recognized in the US.