I understand what you are getting at here Sam, but to me the issue of trust is the biggest hurdle for both sides to overcome. For me trust of any males was a difficult hurdle to overcome, people could gain my trust fairly quickly if they showed trust and respect for me. Today I am generally more trusting of all people to the point where people losing my trust and respect is the general rule now.
The first step is talking to others outside of your circle, waiting for a restaurant table, sitting next to each other at a show, be bold – talk to others on a bus or subway. Sports, weather, something in the news – you may be surprised to find some common ground. A few days later you might see that person again, you both have an opening again to talk. You don’t have to become “friends” as such but you have become acquainted to a point to starting to care about each other and hopefully enjoying these brief discussions.
Sitting outside a restaurant waiting for a table, a black man struck up a conversation with me – as young kids in the 60's we discovered that we were likely at the same Cubs games chasing after foul balls in the nearly empty stands. We both agreed that the Cubs would not likely win in our lifetimes – two years later the Cubbies proved us wrong. We were just two older men chatting about a shared passion and a bit about the twists and turns in our lives and growing up in the Chicago area back when blacks and hippies had a common enemy in the police.