New York’s true football team
The Buffalo Bills are the state of New York’s true football team and thus, the New York Jets should change their name to the New Jersey Jets. There is one blatantly obvious reason for this, the Bills play in the state of New York and are the only team that does so.
As a result, being named New York’s true football team will help the Bills win because why the fuck not, nothing else has worked!
Buffalo is strong, united and rallied together against Mother Nature when she brought shit tons of snow last week.
That is quite impressive, considering she is ranked third on the NFL Power Rankings for Week 13 behind New England and Green Bay. Mother Nature is expected to jump to the two spot after the conclusion of Patriots-Packers on Sunday. That is uber impressive considering the Jets would have trouble beating my little cousin’s peewee football team, let alone the #3 force on the NFL power rankings. Due to that fact, the Jets should be relegated to Bon Jovi’s home state.
New Jersey is a place full of sleeze and scum bags
The crime rate ranks in New Jersey ranks amongst the top 50 in all of America and Walter Cronkite once reported that the state makes Gary, Indiana look like a fairy tale land with constant sunshine and rainbows.
Thus it make sense why the Jets would want to play there.
Finally and most importantly, if you’re wondering what makes the Bills sooo New York and the Jets sooo New Jersey, look no further than the greatest human combination of flesh, bones, guts, glory, talent and sex appeal. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m talking about Kyle Orton. In you don’t live under a rock, you would know that the Jets did not sign Kyle to a $11-million, 2-year deal whereas the Bills did. How typical! Orton, or Kyort as Buffalonians affectionately refer to him as, is the new saving grace and Jesus Christ of the NY Bills and the Jets should have signed him because they would win a Super Bowl.
Thus, in absolute conclusion and without any chance of me being wrong, I declare the Bills New York’s team and likely losers of the next four Super Bowls (#gloryyears) while the Jets shall be hereby expelled from the great st8 of New York so they can put the ewwwww in New Jersey.