She said we should have coffee. Or maybe lunch.

That was 10 days ago. But since I've only got one King in my hand I decided to play it slow.

Or should I say...the truth is, I didn't respond. And it was less about who she is or what and where i am. Its more about memories of misguided conversations with phone and computer screens that never needed to talk back. Their actions were enough to leave me stuck to myself.

I shouldn't forget to mention family and friends throwing their 2 cents in the wishing well of my soul.

No soul starts out completely whole. If they did no one would ever be searching. But pieces can be taken, reshapen and given back with a different scent in hopes that the repackaged delivery would make you overlook the tole and the toal. Any con artist with a half ass promise can gain access to our site. And as much as we may delight in the moment there's a component of our hardware that we just don't understand.

So when she says we should have coffee I imagine not wanting to get her hands off or at least that's what the Internet taught me. I studied and really liked that lesson but the teacher wasn't rated very high from inception so really it was a collection of lies. Full of savory somethings, sweet nothings and sexual bribes.

To date, my ties were at best affiliated, at worst, gang related so... I’m paralyzed. The girl of my dreams could be across the street but a tainted piece of me would rather she walk across the screen.

So soon I'll reply with a little white lie or I'll give it all up with the hope of real joy.

Or I'll wake up from the fantasy and still be an old boy.

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