Life of a College Runner: The Race of My Life
Wow friends. What a week. I’m not going to say anything more than it’s conference week, and I hope you all enjoy this journey.
Monday
Morning: 19:47, 2.38 miles (8:18/mile)
It was a quiet, cold morning. We actually talked about braces almost the whole run. An odd topic, but it did the trick to take our minds off the actual running, since none of us really wanted to go this morning. I think we all felt pretty tired.
Afternoon: 35:00, 4.35 miles (8:04/mile)
We did out and back into Lisbon. Mar turned around early and we lost almost everyone at the stoplight besides Erin and Caroline, so the three of us ran together. We had a fun time. We talked about how some days when you’re having a bad day, running is just what you need to feel better again, but some days it can make it worse. Today was one of those former days for her, which I was glad about. After the run, we did strides and core.
Sunday night, we had a women’s team meeting that the captains put together. Part of the meeting was us taking a sheet of paper and passing it around and writing nice things on it to that person. When I got my paper at the end, I almost started crying. It’s dawning on me that we’re nearing the end. Also, people said such nice things about me, it just made me feel really special. We also went over our expectations for Conference, and our team and individual goals from the beginning of the season, to kind of remind everyone what we’re working towards. Marissa also put together a list of the top times in the conference. We have a really good shot at doing well. My time was the 18th fastest. The top 20 get All-Conference. I know these are just times on a sheet of paper and all that matters is how you run on the course on Saturday, but it’s just nice to know that there’s a chance for me to get it. I thought about this a lot today during the run.
Tuesday
6 miles
Our last workout before the big race. We did 1k repeats again, this time a little bit faster. They were supposed to be 4:12, 4:01, 3:52, and 4:01. We were only doing 4 reps today. We were fast on almost every single one of them. We ran 4:07 and 3:58 for the first two. I got dropped on the 3rd rep but I still ran 3:51, so that’s good. Then our last one was 4:00. It didn’t feel great to be dropped, but they were having a good day and I kind of wasn’t, and that’s the way it goes sometimes. It kind of ate at my confidence a little bit. You know, the thinking that automatically happens that goes kind of like, “Oh no. I had a bad workout right before Conference. What if I can’t run well at Conference either?” But I did my best to push it aside and focus on happier things. Like the fact that this week is a dress up week for practice, so yesterday we wore 80’s style clothing to run in. Today, for the workout, was twin day. And I dressed as our beloved Coach Jerry. I wore my hair low in the back and in a ponytail, a baseball cap, running tights, and a Colorado sweatshirt. I even took a piece of tape and drew a mustache on it (that was a last minute idea and it didn’t stay on very long). He even let me borrow his glasses before practice. I thought it was pretty great. Actually, quite a few times throughout the workout, people thought I was Jerry. I had many people tell me that. So I guess I did a pretty good job of that! It was actually a really fun workout because of that, too.
Wednesday
5.05 miles, 40:00 (7:58/mile)
We didn’t have to do a double this morning because we’re tapering, so our mileage is pretty low. Today we ran out and back on Willow Creek. Erin and I actually made it to Henik Road, which I felt like I haven’t run on in forever. It used to be a regular route, going all the way up to the three mile mark and back. It actually makes me kind of sad that we don’t get to do those six mile routes more often anymore. But today was a nice day. It was actually snowing for quite a bit of the run. The wind was blowing in our face for most of the last half of the run. We went faster than I wanted to, because I wasn’t feeling great and I was sore from yesterday. Then we did 3 hill sprints and 3 x 150 meter progression sprints on the track. Then we went inside and did core.
Thursday
Today was a weird day. Coach gave us the option to cross-train or run, so Marissa and I cross-trained this morning. It sounds odd perhaps, but we figured we ran so well the last time we took a cross-training day, we didn’t want to risk it. It’s all about a routine and a little bit of superstition, but we just really wanted to keep things as similar to the last meet as possible, preparation-wise. It helps ensure us that nothing is going wrong, and it’s also just the thought that we’re doing everything the exact same, so we’re going to run well just like last time. We did it at around 6:45 in the morning. I had a lot of stuff going on today so I had to get it done early. I had meetings and class the whole rest of the day, and then work from 9–11 pm. Anyway, I got to listen to all my favorite cross-training songs. I just didn’t feel great this morning. I had to slow down a bit because my stomach was upset and I felt kind of light headed. Hopefully this does not continue into meet day.
Friday
4 miles, 35:00 (8:37/mile)
At 1:00 in the afternoon, the Rams were on the road to Galesburg, Illinois! Once we got to the course, we did our easy run there. We weren’t allowed to run on the course because of how wet it was — they didn’t want it to get ruined before the meet — but we ran alongside it so we could check out the course and see what we’re going to run tomorrow. Oh my goodness, it was so wet and snowy and muddy!! Our shoes and socks were soaked within the first few minutes, and from then on we just had fun with the run. I actually slipped and fell in the snow once. We’ve become masters of the elements this season, though, so I’m not that worried about tomorrow. We just haven’t had good racing conditions at all this year. It kind of sucks, but we’ve learned to just roll with the punches and take whatever’s thrown at us with stride. Tomorrow will not be easy, that’s for sure.
We did strides after the run. Well, we did strides at different times, because I was running farther than the other women, so I got to do my strides with the men. It was actually a lot of fun.
That night, we had our usual women’s and men’s team meetings. I got pretty freaked out during our meeting. I started having feelings of self-doubt. I started thinking, “What if I actually can’t do it? What if I fail?” This is my last chance to get All-Conference in cross country. I’ve worked so hard and I want it so badly. It would just mean so much to me. I don’t know if I can explain it. I just want to know that all of my hard work these past four years has meant something, if that makes sense. I want something that makes it feel real. Not that the times aren’t real, because they are, it’s just that an All-Conference medal would be something tangible, something to hang up on a wall and look back on in the future. We did another visualization, which helped calm my nerves. I pictured just flying across the course, feeling great, feeling strong.
Afterwards, I felt my nerves return again. We were recommended to change out the first two spikes in our shoes to longer ones so we could dig into the hills for traction and so we didn’t slip and fall. I started to panic a bit because I couldn’t get the top spike out of one of my shoes. I knew I should not have been that nervous. I just couldn’t find a way to stop it. Then Paul took my spike and left the room to see if he could fix it, and I was left with both of the coaches and Luke. Then Coach Steggall told me a funny story about Bailey slipping and falling in the mud at the Wartburg meet. That had me telling some funny stories about Bailey and myself, and pretty soon everyone was laughing, and I was almost crying because I was laughing so hard. It made everything better, and it made the nerves go away. And then Paul came back with my spike and had it fixed! I went to bed with a smile on my face and got a good night of sleep.
Saturday — RACE DAY
8.5 miles
Oh my goodness. I still can’t believe it. Okay, I’m not going to get ahead of myself here. I apologize in advance for the lengthiness of this week’s entry. This morning, we did a 2 mile shake-out run at the cemetery a block away from our hotel. It felt okay, but my stomach wasn’t feeling the best and my legs felt tight and heavy. That’s not how it’s supposed to feel on an important race day. I tried to let it go and just roll out before breakfast. That’s when Jerry found me. He made a joke about me rolling out, and then he stayed to talk to me about the race. I told him I was nervous, but ready. He said All-Conference was definitely realistic. What I was the most nervous about was actually being up there, with the front pack, or up at the front of the race. I’ve never really been there before. The first time that’s happened was at the Mustang Gallop, and then I was startled by how few people there were in front of me. I knew I was just worried about being up there because I’ve always raced in the middle of the pack. That’s just where I was. I had to tell myself that I needed to be up in the front. That’s where I belonged. Jerry told me to just treat it like any other race because, at the end of the day, that’s all it is. Just another race. I can’t believe how wrong he was.
This race was unlike any other race I’ve ever run. We knew, going into it, that it was going to be slow, that we had to throw time expectations out the window, after we saw the boys run and hear how they did. We got 2 All-Conference runners, though! Aaron and Evan Mills got 10th and 12th! I was so happy for them. We also heard from them that the course was really difficult to run on. So I chucked all hope of a PR today out the window and just focused on the place. Before the race, I had a lot of nice things said to me. Matt’s dad told me he loved my stories in my blog, my parents wished me good luck, and several people told me thank you for the notes I wrote. I wrote notes for the whole team today with a little inspirational note on the back. I just remember the seniors doing that for me, and I wanted them to have something too. It always made me feel good before a race.
Anyway, we were on the line before I knew it. I shook off the nerves, looked out at the course, and said the words I knew I needed to in order to make it a good race. I deserved to be there. I’ve said that before every great race. I have to believe that I deserve to be there, and that I deserve to be among these great people running with me. Then the gun went off.
In every race, there’s at least one part that feels easy, normally. It could be just the first ten to fifteen seconds. Sometimes I have a burst of energy in the middle where I feel amazing. Today, every single step felt hard. I got out fast, just like I needed to, but I started slipping away from the lead group after the first couple hundred meters. As soon as we cut from the starting straight onto the regular course, it turned to mud, and every step hurt and took a lot out of me. After about half a mile, I counted. There were at least 25–30 people ahead of me. I started to give up, realizing that group was All-Conference, and it was running away from me. I came through the 1 mile in 6:10, which also freaked me out because that was faster than I’d planned on getting out. Caroline, Marissa, Erin, and Billie were all ahead of me. I just felt awful because I was sucking wind at the 1 mile and I still had a huge chunk of the race left. The race quickly changed into one that I’d never run before. Suddenly, it wasn’t about time or saving or anything. It was taking every little burst of energy I had and throwing it into passing the next person. It was about looking ahead to see who was in front of me and how far away they were. It was about challenging myself and pushing myself past my known limits. It was freaking hard!
Billie, Erin, and I kept going back and forth for most of the first half of the race. I don’t know when I lost them, but they kept me going while I had them. I would fight to stay with them, since they were both powering up the hills and I was struggling. Gosh, I felt awful. The 2 mile mark was when I changed the race. Not when the race changed, when I changed it. I suddenly got to the top of a hill and saw Marissa in front of me. I counted, and she was in either 20th or 21st place. There were only five or six people between us. I decided to go for it. I felt like I was digging into my reserve for the finish already. I started working my way up. When I came around by the clubhouse and began to turn back towards where the start was, “Sweet Talk” by The Killers was stuck in my head, the part that goes, “Fix my feet when they’re stumbling, you know it’s gonna hurt sometimes. You know it’s gonna bleed sometimes. Now hold on.” It got me going again.
At several points in the race, I heard people yelling for me. My mom, my dad, the coaches, and the men’s team. When I came up to the 3 mile mark, I heard Matt’s dad and Erin’s mom both telling me I was in either 23rd or 24th, I think. Someone kicked mud up in my face. I knew I had to start kicking at the 5k because all I could think of was that I didn’t have a strong finish and I had to start kicking early or else people were going to pass me right at the end. My heart dropped when I rounded the corner to head for the finish. I wanted to cry and scream. It was mostly uphill, and I could see 21st and 20th place a ways ahead of me. I thought they were too far away. I thought it was over then and there. All I could think was All-Conference is right there. And I can’t reach it. Then I saw two St. Norbert girls in front of me and they looked like they were dying. So I told myself to just go for it, leave it all out there. Just go now. I kicked it into gear and went for it. Even though I was still a few hundred meters away from the finish, I went for it with everything I had. I didn’t know how long my kick would last, but I knew I would die before the finish. I passed another girl.
Then we came up to the hill before the finish, and I saw a girl right in front of me. Somehow, I have no idea how it happened or how I did it, but I kicked it into another gear, a gear I didn’t even know existed, for that last hundred meters or so. I heard the men’s team just wailing at me, screaming their heads off. I heard both my parents clearly above the noise, screaming my name. I kept going even though it hurt so bad. I flew down the hill and passed the girl. I almost caught another before the finish, but she sped up and out-kicked me seconds before we crossed the mat. Immediately after crossing the line, the pain hit me. Everything hurt, from my legs to my lungs. I tried to walk it off but ended up collapsing after my mom and dad got to me and said they thought I got 20th. I started crying a little. My mom got me on my feet again and helped me walk over to my teammates. Marissa saw me and the first thing she did was pull me down and kiss my forehead. We gave each other a lot of hugs. I could barely walk. But it was over, and I was completely spent. I didn’t just run today, I raced. And I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.
The next ten minutes or so were filled with confusion and overwhelming emotion. No one was sure — including myself — if I got 20th or 21st. It was pretty nerve-wrecking. I was so close. I didn’t want it to all be for naught. That was the hardest race I’ve ever run. Soon, we got the results. The women’s team got 3rd overall!!! Marissa, Caroline, and I were the only ones around when the coaches got the results. We were screaming and hugging. And I got 19th! I was so happy, I started crying a little. The coaches both gave me big hugs, as did my teammates. Then I had to run across the field and tell my parents. They engulfed me in a huge family group hug. They kept telling me how proud they were and how hard I’ve worked for this.
I’m going to sum up the rest. I got many hugs from people and many congratulations, I called Brett and told him the good news, I went on a really short cool-down, and then we had the awards ceremony. The feeling of being up there with a medal around my neck was incredible. I couldn’t stop smiling. I was up where my role models from years past had been. Finally, with the weight of the medal around my neck, it felt like all those years of training, of hard work, of terrible workout days and amazing long runs, all suddenly meant something. I was a champion. I deserved to be there.

The rest is all kind of normal. I cried a bit, several times. All I could think of was my freshman year. How hard it was. I finished second to last on the team at my first meet. And now here I am, our number three runner, and I’m All-Conference. I just can’t believe it.
Sunday
8 miles, 65 minutes (8:06/mile)
This is already so long, I don’t want to make it longer. Today was strange. I’m still feeling yesterday, both in the soreness of my legs and the fullness of my heart. I had an okay long run. I ran with Caroline for most of it. We talked a lot and had a good time. I was just tired. We ran at Sac and Fox.
I don’t know what else to say. Some of you have been reading my journey over the past year and a half, but a lot of you don’t know where I started. I almost quit cross country before the start of my freshman year, at the end of the summer. I thought I wasn’t good enough. I was struggling to run less than 9 minutes a mile on easy runs. My mom convinced me I had to keep going. I had to do it. My first month or so of training was so hard. Every easy run felt like a workout. My first steady run (which was supposed to be easy pace on the way out and a faster, almost tempo pace on the way back) was slower on the way back. All I could run was 4 miles a day, even for long runs. My first 6k was 29:17. All I can do right now is think back to those days, think of how badly I just wanted to keep up with the team, and picture telling myself, “Hey, in three years, you’re going to be All-Conference.” I don’t know if I would have believed it. But I am so incredibly proud of myself. I am proud. And I am so happy. And I’ll just leave it at that. Thank you for reading this.
— Morgan
